Letting Go - Serving God Not Mankind
/What have you been struggling with,
undecided about, in terms of
the relationships in your life?
I'm wondering if I'm the only one with
biblical verses
swirling around in my head along with a series of
injustices, unresolved misunderstandings
and
compromises
that I'm not sure I've identified correctly.
Recently, God has illuminated the reality that
I only answer to Him,
that in Christ, God is the only one I'm accountable to. He has made me see clearly that
serving two (2) masters
(
)
- let alone 50,
if I count the emotions and needs of the people I love - will inevitably drive me... and you... crazy. Serving God in Christ alone, at the center of everything, gives us rest. (
).
Who Do You Serve?
STOP! Stop trying
to be good, to do the right thing, to "represent God to the world", to hold on to all the relationships in your life (particularly those that only you are working on). Let it all go.
NOW, breathe.
Tell me what that feels like. How light are you, now? Do you know why?
That burden is not yours to carry! It's GOD's!
"Pick up your cross" means come to Christ. That's it!
Your cross is to put God, in Christ through the Holy Spirit, first.
Make no mistake, that is a cross,
because you're wired by society to
do everything else first and "pray when all else fails". (Wrong)
It is the hardest thing to do, but truly, the most rewarding thing, to
put God front, and center.
You see, it is not in being and doing good that we draw nearer to God.
It is in being true, honest,
about what is
both good and bad
about you - spirit, soul (mind and emotions) and body; thought, word and deed (action) - and bringing
that
to God.
Source of "God First" image: http://bit.ly/1gx5Ajb
For the past year, I've been struggling with right and wrong, and have realized that I've fallen into a trap that, from the age of 12, I've taken care to avoid -
I've been living and assessing myself on the basis of other people's limited perspectives. (I've failed!)
While I haven't resolved the issue in question yet, I am clear that it had better be my decision, as
I am to answer to My Beloved, God
in Christ through the Holy Spirit, for it.
Godly Boundaries in Relationship?
As I sat at my Church this Sunday, I took a long look at the people around me, and my brain wandered further to incorporate the people I've surrounded myself with in Life. And "what the...?" was my response. It's like I opened my eyes for the first time in years - not months.
Who are these people? Why have I given them permission to speak into my life? Why am I surrounded by people who think they have a right to manipulate; who don't honor Free Will?
They don't know me and haven't taken the time to go deeper with me. They do, however, have the time to impose their will and views on me... because I let them.
For a long time I'd thought it was because I didn't try in relationships. On Sunday,
I realized that I more than tried - I'd poured my heart out, only to get shutdown...several times
...with the excuse of "relationships are messy". I totally fell for it, until I realized that wasn't applicable to them - just to me. My Pastor said, "what's inside oozes out", so that's what you see on this page... but that's what I wasn't paying attention to in all of these people I've been making excuses for.
Where do you draw the line - compassion and
versus genuine relationship? WWJD? Jesus ran to the Father - all the time!
He was always running to God. He answered to no one, but God in Christ. He had relationships, yes, but pay attention to the nature of those relationships.
No more "
"
and calling it Love.
Now, hear me - relationships
are
messy:
God put your mother, father, brother/sister, difficult cousin(s) in your life so that you would realize that
only after you've taken your good, bad and ugly to Him,
after He's filled you to overflow with Love, can you
love them endlessly and fully,
albeit with wise boundaries.
Until you truly empty the bag in your heart (not your head, or your stomach) before God, and let Him heal you,
you will keep meeting those relatives in various people throughout life.
However, I place emphasis on the "
albeit with wise boundaries
". You have to be true to yourself,
to where you are in your development right now, to what hurts you and what safety means, and you have to act on that.
Loving someone does not mean "no holds barred" in what they can do to you.
Forgiveness is a one-way street
- you can forgive someone and never speak to them again.
Reconciliation is a two way street
- it can't happen just on your side. Serving God only, means you're free from the burden of carrying all of those relationships. You can, then, see clearly how to move forward with them.
[More on Forgiveness/Reconciliation, Mark Driscoll's piece,
10 Things That Forgiveness Is Not
. Really process that in light of your unique case.]
Free Will & Responsibility
My mother has been trying to explain to me (thanks, Mom) for years,
"you do not have to get everyone to understand everything before you act";
that I am no less loving toward them in Christ if they don't get it. I finally get it, in my head, but my heart has not caught up.
"If I explain things in a way that helps them understand the truth in love. Even if they don't agree, I have done my part to ensure that they understand the situation, and the devil doesn't get to keep us in the dark."
Right? Wrong. Each of us, individuals, is responsible for what the devil gets to do in our own lives.
We can pray for each other, but unless the person you're praying for agrees, since they're the one with the authority over their own lives in Christ, there's nothing you can do.
Free will in Christ. This is a boundary issue.
In my head, I had it upside-down and back-to-front,
because it is supposed to be that 1. God loves us, 2. that teaches us to truly love ourselves, and 3. from that flows a healthy love for others, within the right boundaries; 4. honoring their right to choose.
We are not responsible for anything beyond our own being and actions.
Remember that, the next time you pray
"LORD, make XOX do..." instead of "LORD, please let XOX grow in relationship with You."
It is no small feat to undo those soul ties, but acknowledging them is the first step.
For me, going back to basics,
God first, God only, is the second step.
Only then can I make clear decisions about
setting right boundaries and building right community.
Only then can I carry out
the great commission (
), truly.
