Trusting God in All Circumstances
/Why isn't this working?
We all struggle with what we call the 'contradictions in the Word' and the fact that 'bad things happen to us no matter how 'good' we are'. What it means to trust God, though, is to trust Him despite appearances, circumstances.
We're called to know that:
Our logic is far from all-encompassing, so we can't possibly understand everything in our walk with God: "Who has measured the Spirit of the Lord, or what man shows him his counsel?", (Isaiah 40:13 ESV always try to read the whole chapter for context),
We live in a fallen world, given to evil powers and principalities (spoken of in Ephesians 6:12) that have nothing to do with 'good works' but 'dominion given to them' since Adam & Eve fell,
If we truly understand what Christ's resurrection saved us from, we would be grateful for the "minor" sufferings we go through here, because we walk in God's Holy Spirit and salvation, a grace that those who lived before Christ's resurrection didn't have.
A wake-up call for me was that Judas Iscariot could have been any of us, no? Didn't people come to know Christ through Him? Thankful that I'm saved and in Christ, despite my weaknesses.
Justice
Bearing God's image and likeness means that we will always be pursuers of Justice, but we have to remember that God said "vengence is mine", and leave it to Him.
He can't grant us favour beyond His own covenants or rules, because that would make Him a liar; and that He is not. He covers us as far as we let Him, as far as we bring things into the light - in confessing to someone, to Him, or in finally realizing the truth within ourselves. We, however, often unknowlingly confuse God with a genie (you know, 'approve my plans Lord', rather than 'show me Your plans, Lord'). I do it too. Truth, however, is not based on what we want, but on what is - that is what we must pursue first. Truth.
For me, the anger comes because I think I work so hard to hear His will for me so I can avoid making mistakes, only to fall still. I've realized, lately, that I couldn't minister in some areas without those experiences, however. I still, often, don't see the value of those experiences in the moment, or even for years after, but I'm learning to trust Him regardless.
Fellowship
That's also why fellowship is so important... I'm learning. People get mad at Adam and Eve, but if this is how we trust when the Holy Spirit abides within us always, could we have been any different in their shoes? As humans, we are flawed. Still, we are not to let the enemy convince us that fellowship is useless as a result. All of this is a part of the deception we live under, these days.
Speaking from experience, I'm often a recluse. Sensitive, as I am, I don't respond well to being hurt within the Church, and often go off on my own... where better for the enemy to come play with my mind? Beware, our enemy quite literally comes to "steal, kill and destroy" (John 10:10), quite literally. Being left a sheep apart from the herd for too long - regardless of however flawed we are as brothers and sisters in Christ, sometimes - we become vulnerable to the wolves that are everywhere. Vessels that unwittingly become tools of our enemy. Praying, right now, about such situations.
Exercise wisdom in whom you trust with what, of course - we have been given the gift of Discernment in Christ - but find christians to spend time discussing the word and challenges with. Certainly, be vague until you build up trust, but find the body of Christ.
Be encouraged
Please don't be discouraged. As long as you're still "wrestling with God" as Jacob did (Genesis 32:22-28 ESV), you're hanging in there. In Matthew 24:11-13, that's why Christ said that "because lawlessness will be increased, the love of many will grow cold." Sure, He meant towards each other, but He meant towards Him, God. Stay focused on His goodness and grace and don't let circumstances tear you down.
Bless you!
