Authenticity. Shedding without Resentment (Part 1)
/I'm on a journey.
Let me start with that disclaimer. I do not have it all figured out, and I certainly respect that each individual's journey is unique. What I will say is, acknowledging that,
you have to respect that your views,
your experiences (and/or lack thereof), your values,
are very, very valid.
Part 1
of this series just looks at the Authenticity piece.
looks at releasing those who force us down a particular path (real or imagined) as you step into your own life, without resenting them.
I'm also writing this, for myself, to wrap my head around all the lessons life has been throwing my way, lately. It's not a 'brain dump', so you can read it, but it is a 'thinking it through' process. In light of that, I hope it's helpful in letting you do the same. 'Permission', of sorts, to trust Your insights.
Authenticity - Looking Inward
Things Take the Time they Take!
"Rush, produce, work 8-hour days (yea. sure) and squeeze as much in as possible". Really?
How's that going?
To Women:
as you're physically built to be creators, you tend to run into your vision for the future. Constantly planning, reassessing, fretting and worrying unnecessarily, forgetting that your strength lies in receiving all their is to receive in the moment. A lot of that has also come from society's negative perspective of that strength, but if you look at all the stress-relieving activities, they ALL take you back to the feminine - living in the moment. Embrace the sights, scents, sounds, tastes, sensations, daydreams that infuse you with joy, because this is your strength. Slow down! Tangible productivity is not the only productivity (creativity). Making time to step into awareness, will help you to be less self-critical (and thus less critical of others) and help you to empower yourself.
To Men:
as you're physically built to be providers and protectors, you likely have less trouble living in the moment. In times gone by, when your inner voice said, "kill that now, or it will kill you", planning ahead was not the priority. Focusing on your strengths, then, let go of the "oh sh!t, how do I save face here!" and just BE. Not "Yes, this is me, 'what are you going to do about it', but "Yes, this is me." Full stop. No apologies, no aggressive defense of your current self, just 'being'. Face your insecurities (it's human), rest in where you are, with a vision of where you want to be as 'possible'.
Now, focus on
whichever one you relate to.
At different times,
in our day, in our lives, we relate to both. Remember, all of this is about embracing YOU! Not the professional, friendly, ogre-like, parent or child version of you, but the whole of you - all of which is lovable with the right perspective.
It's a Process. Get Comfy.
(Craziness. Woke up singing "I'm comfy" this morning. No, it's not a song. Lol.)
A lot of people will tell you to "get out of your comfort zone",
as if your 'comfort zone' is a bad thing.
Please, please know, that
your comfort zone literally keeps you safe.
Plus, anything you're not "comfortable" with, will likely not - ever - become a habit, a permanent part of your life. Whether you're:
Quitting smoking,
Establishing a new schedule for work
Trying a new morning ritual
There's a reason it won't 'stick' right away.
Explore this. Have you decided to do this because:
Intrinsically, every fiber of your being (spirit, soul, body) wants this? OR
External reasons, like, 'it's time/you're supposed to/everyone says/you'll go to hell?
Can you even tell the difference,
or have you been doing the "I'm supposed to" dance for so long, that you can't even
hear your own voice anymore?
Comfort and 2 Other Zones
The 'Comfort' zone
is where most of spend our lives -
in the routine
of what we already know and do, whether we're aware of it or not. The
'Stretch' zone
is the zone that
allows us to test
new things within an area where we still feel like
we have the reigns of the situation.
The
'Panic' zone
is where you're
moving faster/further than your
being (body, spirit, soul i.e. mind, will, emotions)
can process or accept.
If you're growing, your 'Comfort' zone expands into your 'Stretch' zone, and your previous 'Panic' zone becomes your current 'Stretch' zone, but
this is very, very individual.
If you're honest, where would you say you spend most of your time?
In the next section, there are some questions that help you answer this, but in this section, I want to focus on
why your comfort zone is so important.
You keep doing and believing what's in your Comfort Zone. That only changes when YOU want to change it. This means that, no matter how many books you read, how many coaches or friends 'advise' you,
until your spirit, soul and body align to truly want that change,
it won't stick.
[Note:
the more external ideas or voices you have in your head,
the less room there is for your own.
If you keep that up, it'll be more difficult to change,
even when you want to.]
It's the work you do within yourself
- brainstorming, daydreaming, thinking, making decisions (yes, you, your own decisions) and
taking 'comfortable yet fun' steps, leaps, you decide
- that expands your 'Comfort Zone', before you can
even fathom your own vision for this change.
Decisions to change based on external motives,
often push you into your 'Panic' zone.
This can have physical ramifications.
It's stressful, and this inevitably becomes physical illness.
Please take that seriously.
It's THAT important to know your own boundaries.
What's Your Perspective? Do You Know?
If not, try this.
Take a month off from reading books, news,
articles, everyone's opinion (mine included) on social media / e-mail blasts. Aren't you sick of hearing/saying
"Well, XYZ-Influencer says 'blah, blah, blah', so it's obvious that..."
No. No, it's not 'obvious that...' Seriously.
You have a perspective that's correct for you
that, perhaps no one else on the planet can understand.
All the more reason to explore it, no?
Maybe the world is suffering because
your real self hasn't come forth to teach us what you're here to share!
Get past the fear and anxiety of 'falling behind'. You and the world will be fine. Frankly, those who fall away because you're not 'hanging on their every breath', were sucking up your life's energy, anyway. Let it go. It could take up to a week for you to get 'okay' with just You.
Try a brain-dump. Write, audio-record, spill, every 'idea' floating around your head.
Now explore. How many of these beliefs do you really share? Really think 10, 20 years later, how will living these beliefs affect your life, your children's lives, the world we live in?
To go deeper with this, go wherever it leads you. If you do it really well, your own inner voice will takeover and you'll follow it along to find more of your own voice.
,
how to release those you may resent for 'steering you off course'. Recognise that they have a right to be. Just put boundaries in place to ensure your own right to be, as well. READ ON.
