A Reflective Place, Rituals & Clarity

September,

November and January are always intuitively new beginnings for me.

I think how much I will miss summer and then fall sweeps me away on a beautiful and reflective spell. Any and everything is possible.

What seasons, activities, rituals, do this for you?

I'm learning: Empowering through Invitation, not Direction

Ever evolving, learning and growing, as I embrace my full self and all that that means,

I'm learning to be less directive and more inviting

not just in my writing, but in my workshops and speaking engagements, client engagements and, frankly, in conversation with myself as well. From what I've seen and personally experienced,

empowerment, with long-term commitment,

happens when the invitation is accepted at your core, 

within your comfort zone

(a taboo these days with the gurus and 'coaches'). You can commit long-term because

it truly resonates with the aligned you.

Rituals? What rituals?

As I begin to get gentler with myself,

making time to embrace, smile with and fill my 'cup' with self love every morning - in the mirror, while in bed, through my journal, support by my

"May You Know Joy"

cards

- I realized that each day I started that way was a day where I interacted very differently with each encounter I had,

where I stayed in the present.

That self love overflowed into my engagement with others, and re-framed each situation far more positively for me. Diffused some situations and exploded others with extreme empowerment for all involved.

Beautiful to watch.

I've found those morning rituals, particularly at this time of year,

keep me clear on my reality and my power to continue to create the reality I truly desire.

That is particularly important, when you're in transition. In my case, transitioning away from clients and community that don't embrace that thinking.

Transitioning toward clients and community who do.

It allows me to be gentle with myself, knowing that this transition reminds me of why right community matters, and to accept that all who are have a right to create their own realities in.

It's soothing, regardless of the situation.

On rituals, it took me a couple years to embrace them.

Coming from a religious background, I'd grown to resent the whole idea of

"having to do something to receive blessings"

, because the God (universe, force, whatever you believe) I have known even as a child

never had a price on the miracles s/he's bestowed upon me.

In hindsight, there have always been miracles taking me through life. As I am able to step back from resentment now, I realize it's because I allowed those "rituals" to be forced on me.

I've learned now that rituals are merely the acts that give each of us, individually:

1. Time: as much (or as little) as we each need, to get clear on our beliefs as we face the world. 

2. Space: to slow down enough to re-incorporate those beliefs more fully into our psyche. 

3. Sensory reality: whether your rituals are visual, experiential, auditory, intuitive or other, bringing them into your physical, day to day, reality, again to seal it in as real. This one is important, because we seal everything else in this way - at work, writing reports, engaging in 'realistic, intellectual' discussions that don't often align with those beliefs, etc.

Here, I want to stop to ensure you're clear that at all times, you've invited

to implement anything that resonates, in a way that works for you. No two (2) of us are exactly alike and need exactly the same things to keep us awakened in our beliefs, our values.

If you're not being true to You, then neither you nor the world benefits.

So whether you aren't ready for rituals yet, have rituals without even realizing it, practice your rituals before bed, on mornings, or as you desire throughout the day/week/when you remember (let's be honest),

please do what works for you.

Clarity as Motherhood Approaches

This year is particularly moving for me, perhaps because I'm becoming a mother in October of this year. Thrilled, as I've been planning for this since I was 12, but happy I've waited this long, because I'm now in a place where I plan less and am

thrilled to discover, more - who she is!

Even so, rituals fell away as focus became difficult during pregnancy - except with work for some reason.

I suppose, like I mentioned above, it's because work is what we've been trained the most on and what we spend most of our time on.

For me, making those rituals even more important.

September has seen a very natural re-awakening of my flow into those rituals, again. Motherhood, has shifted the focus from 'nice to do' to 'enjoy doing this, and

looking forward to how it my little one responds to rituals'.

Clarity has come in this season,

with my intermittent journaling, conversations with myself, etcetera, and I hope, whatever you do, you find that too. It means:

• You're clear on your priorities, regardless of what others may 'need' to foist unto you. 

• You find you're less resentful that they "asked for something so ridiculous", because you can accept that it's simply what they want, but that you prefer what you want and know you're only responsible for that.

• You're better at managing expectations too, after a while.

It's pretty amazing.

Plus, has anyone noticed that 2017 seems to be the year

everyone's getting pregnant and having babies?

It's happening globally - I have friends and colleagues everywhere sharing the good news! I hope you're enjoying whatever you birth this year -

my business

is also my baby, so I can relate.

Reflection. What moves you to reflect, find clarity?

Space, quite alone time and autumn, small un-forced rituals,

September (November and January, as well) awaken this within me.

I'd love to know what brings you into this reflective place,

as I seek out more like-minded community.

I'm always learning.

I hope to hear from you soon!

Warmly,

Crystal-Marie S.

www.instagram.com/Successiory

(Initially @cmaries08)

---

ABOUT CRYSTAL-MARIE SEALY, MBA

MBA, speaker, dancer, blogger, strategy consultant, author and - like all of us - so much more,

Crystal-Marie

is driven by her passion to see everyone

govern themselves in love, as individuals,

so they when they step out into the world, all of who they are is what builds

a greater global community.

 In all she does, her goal is to awaken us all to learn who we are individually, trust that being and live that authentically (not necessarily rebelliously) from a place of love, so that you're always operating in your truth.

It's the source of all confidence.

Founder and president of

Successiory

, Crystal-Marie

works with

premium-service solo entrepreneurs and professionals who recognize that earning in abundance positions them to make the difference they want to make in the world

- be it for themselves, their families or the world at large. She supports clients as they awaken to the realities of the impact on the

pricing, schedules and client community

(those who already know they need, value and will invest in them), so they have better quality of life and, therefore, are able to be living examples of that success with their own clients and all they encounter. 

Feel free to subscribe to this blog,

 to follow her journey and enjoy what resonates, or for entrepreneurship/small business support, her Successiory mailing list (

www.eepurl.com/Xoa_D

). 

Authenticity. Shedding without Resentment (Part 2)

As you'll see in

Part 1

,

 as you delve deeper into the process of hearing your own voice, you'll recognize the value of your

comfort zone

and you'll know when you're

ready to stretch.

This decides everything, including how well you

form new habits

. 

Part 1

 is the best place to start. It looks at

Authenticity,

hearing and recognizing your voice. 

Part 2

 looks at releasing those who force us down a particular path (real or imagined) as you step into your own life, without resenting them. 

In part 1, I recommended that one way to get back to your own voice was to 

take a month off from reading books, news,

 articles, everyone's opinion (mine included) on social media / e-mail blasts. You have a perspective that's correct for you that, perhaps no one else on the planet can understand. The 3-steps I'd mentioned were to:

1. Get past the fear and anxiety of 'falling behind'. You and the world will be fine. Frankly, those who fall away because you're not 'hanging on their every breath', were sucking up your life's energy, anyway. Let it go. It could take up to a week for you to get 'okay' with just You.

2. Try a brain-dump. Write, audio-record, spill, every 'idea' floating around your head.

3. Now explore. How many of these beliefs do you really share? Really think 10, 20 years later, how will living these beliefs affect your life, your children's lives, the world we live in?

Shedding. An Intrinsic Look at What & Who's Around

Over time, take #2 further, by exploring,

 'where did these ideas come from?', 'how much of your own decision-making have you given over to the person/organization/society that gave you that belief? why?' and 'how do you take it back, and 

set healthy boundaries

 around what that person/organization/society 

is allowed to influence in your life?'

Remember, these things only have power over us when we give it to them - or in some cases, they took it - but Take It Back.

Beyond those who've 'planted ideas'. Also 

explore who you're allowing to hold you back.

Who around you keeps saying 

"baby steps, dear"

, 

"it took me 10 years to get here. You're not the exception, you're the norm"

, 

"you're doing what?? aren't you scared?"

What are You allowing them to keep you from doing? Do you have champions?

 Who around you is saying,

 "why not do <insert dreams here>"

 or 

"let's find a way to make ... possible"

.

Like saplings, few dreams look feasible in the 'idea' phase.

 Even the dreamer is not sure-footed yet, so if they share it with 'nay-sayers' too early, 

those dreams will likely die

 (for the moment). 

It's like icy winds hitting a tiny oak sapling.

 You need to 

grow it internally within yourself,

 then share it when you're strong enough, 

with champions. That's right - still not the nay-sayers.

 Champions are so on-board, that sometimes you can get into idea-overload, and lose sight of the precise vision for your dream. 

Get it clear, then share.

Finally, don't share it with nay-sayers.

Seriously, even if it's your mother!

You're hurting her and yourself,

 by trying to force her out of her comfort zone, and by forcing yourself into a storm unnecessarily. Part of loving ourselves, and those around us, is accepting where we are in our own journeys. 

Let them find out when it's already succeeded.

 Then, feel free to share the journey - it might help them expand. 

Again, just my two-cents.

Shedding. No Resentment. Love & Light, Instead

Truth, it is important to release, first, yourself

 from all the 

"oh my gosh, I can't believe I..."

 moments. You know, those moments that you recall from time to time that you wished you never did/saw/acted on? 

Let... them... go.

 Forgive yourself, laugh it off,

 shake your head and smile. Whatever it takes, acknowledge it for what it is, a learning experience (all mistakes are), and 

love yourself through letting it go.

Now, recognize that everyone else around you

 - including the bullies, the people who aren't sorry they wronged you, the clueless people who've wronged you (yes, not everyone was intentionally viscious) - 

is also imperfect.

 Recognize that 

healthy boundaries (not walls)

 allow us to 

co-exist with all kinds of people and still keep ourselves whole

 (unhurt, healed). 

Forgive them, send them love and light,

 truly, not flippantly, and put them in your boundary categories. 

Now, 

Forgiveness is

 a whole other topic.

You can forgive someone, really, and never speak to them again. Boundaries!

This is another reason that you should be true to yourself.

 The exercise above, where we explored who you allowed to 'plant those ideas' in your head, and why you let them, 

helps us see our own vulnerabilities clearly,

 so we can set boundaries (in love, not fear), to protect ourselves. Of course, as you grow and get stronger in your own identity, your boundaries will need to change to accommodate your growth. 

Be okay with that.

All of this makes you a happier, gentler, more joyful person. Don't let anyone take that away.

Thanks for Reading!

I'd love to hear, if you actually took the time to do this, how it's worked for you. 

Do you feel more empowered?

 More secure in your own decision-making ability? Here's a more empowering post on Authenticity: 

The Disruption of Authenticity

,

 facing the fact that 

not everyone will like it.

I mean, if you don't know your own mind (heart, desires), who's life are you living?

Authenticity. Shedding without Resentment (Part 1)

I'm on a journey.

Let me start with that disclaimer. I do not have it all figured out, and I certainly respect that each individual's journey is unique. What I will say is, acknowledging that,

you have to respect that your views,

your experiences (and/or lack thereof), your values,

are very, very valid.

Part 1

of this series just looks at the Authenticity piece.

Part 2

looks at releasing those who force us down a particular path (real or imagined) as you step into your own life, without resenting them.

I'm also writing this, for myself, to wrap my head around all the lessons life has been throwing my way, lately. It's not a 'brain dump', so you can read it, but it is a 'thinking it through' process. In light of that, I hope it's helpful in letting you do the same. 'Permission', of sorts, to trust Your insights.

Authenticity - Looking Inward

Things Take the Time they Take!

 "Rush, produce, work 8-hour days (yea. sure) and squeeze as much in as possible". Really?

How's that going?

To Women:

 as you're physically built to be creators, you tend to run into your vision for the future. Constantly planning, reassessing, fretting and worrying unnecessarily, forgetting that your strength lies in receiving all their is to receive in the moment. A lot of that has also come from society's negative perspective of that strength, but if you look at all the stress-relieving activities, they ALL take you back to the feminine - living in the moment. Embrace the sights, scents, sounds, tastes, sensations, daydreams that infuse you with joy, because this is your strength. Slow down! Tangible productivity is not the only productivity (creativity). Making time to step into awareness, will help you to be less self-critical (and thus less critical of others) and help you to empower yourself.

To Men:

as you're physically built to be providers and protectors, you likely have less trouble living in the moment. In times gone by, when your inner voice said, "kill that now, or it will kill you", planning ahead was not the priority. Focusing on your strengths, then, let go of the "oh sh!t, how do I save face here!" and just BE. Not "Yes, this is me, 'what are you going to do about it', but "Yes, this is me." Full stop. No apologies, no aggressive defense of your current self, just 'being'. Face your insecurities (it's human), rest in where you are, with a vision of where you want to be as 'possible'.

Now, focus on

whichever one you relate to.

At different times,

in our day, in our lives, we relate to both. Remember, all of this is about embracing YOU! Not the professional, friendly, ogre-like, parent or child version of you, but the whole of you - all of which is lovable with the right perspective.

It's a Process. Get Comfy.

(Craziness. Woke up singing "I'm comfy" this morning. No, it's not a song. Lol.)

 A lot of people will tell you to "get out of your comfort zone",

as if your 'comfort zone' is a bad thing.

Please, please know, that

your comfort zone literally keeps you safe.

 Plus, anything you're not "comfortable" with, will likely not - ever - become a habit, a permanent part of your life. Whether you're:

• Quitting smoking,

• Establishing a new schedule for work

• Trying a new morning ritual

There's a reason it won't 'stick' right away.

Explore this. Have you decided to do this because:

• Intrinsically, every fiber of your being (spirit, soul, body) wants this? OR 

• External reasons, like, 'it's time/you're supposed to/everyone says/you'll go to hell?

Can you even tell the difference,

or have you been doing the "I'm supposed to" dance for so long, that you can't even

hear your own voice anymore?

Comfort and 2 Other Zones

The 'Comfort' zone

is where most of spend our lives -

in the routine

of what we already know and do, whether we're aware of it or not. The

'Stretch' zone

is the zone that

allows us to test

new things within an area where we still feel like

we have the reigns of the situation.

The

'Panic' zone

is where you're

moving faster/further than your

being (body, spirit, soul i.e. mind, will, emotions)

can process or accept.

If you're growing, your 'Comfort' zone expands into your 'Stretch' zone, and your previous 'Panic' zone becomes your current 'Stretch' zone, but

this is very, very individual.

If you're honest, where would you say you spend most of your time?

In the next section, there are some questions that help you answer this, but in this section, I want to focus on

why your comfort zone is so important.

 You keep doing and believing what's in your Comfort Zone. That only changes when YOU want to change it. This means that, no matter how many books you read, how many coaches or friends 'advise' you,

until your spirit, soul and body align to truly want that change,

 it won't stick.

[Note:

the more external ideas or voices you have in your head,

the less room there is for your own.

If you keep that up, it'll be more difficult to change,

even when you want to.]

It's the work you do within yourself

- brainstorming, daydreaming, thinking, making decisions (yes, you, your own decisions) and

taking 'comfortable yet fun' steps, leaps, you decide

- that expands your 'Comfort Zone', before you can

even fathom your own vision for this change.

Decisions to change based on external motives,

often push you into your 'Panic' zone.

This can have physical ramifications.

It's stressful, and this inevitably becomes physical illness.

Please take that seriously.

It's THAT important to know your own boundaries.

What's Your Perspective? Do You Know?

If not, try this.

Take a month off from reading books, news,

articles, everyone's opinion (mine included) on social media / e-mail blasts. Aren't you sick of hearing/saying

"Well, XYZ-Influencer says 'blah, blah, blah', so it's obvious that..."

 No. No, it's not 'obvious that...' Seriously.

You have a perspective that's correct for you

that, perhaps no one else on the planet can understand.

All the more reason to explore it, no?

Maybe the world is suffering because

your real self hasn't come forth to teach us what you're here to share!

1. Get past the fear and anxiety of 'falling behind'. You and the world will be fine. Frankly, those who fall away because you're not 'hanging on their every breath', were sucking up your life's energy, anyway. Let it go. It could take up to a week for you to get 'okay' with just You.

2. Try a brain-dump. Write, audio-record, spill, every 'idea' floating around your head.

3. Now explore. How many of these beliefs do you really share? Really think 10, 20 years later, how will living these beliefs affect your life, your children's lives, the world we live in?

To go deeper with this, go wherever it leads you. If you do it really well, your own inner voice will takeover and you'll follow it along to find more of your own voice.

In part 2

,

how to release those you may resent for 'steering you off course'. Recognise that they have a right to be. Just put boundaries in place to ensure your own right to be, as well. READ ON.

Emotion & Urgency with Clients

Happy Spring!

Source: http://writerfox.hubpages.com/hub/Flower-Clip-Art

Logic & Emotion - The Paradox

If you've been following, you know I shifted gears in 2014.

I'm no longer the pure-logic, mission-driven lady I started this blog as.

Logic still has its place, but I've grown significantly since

I've welcomed my emotions back.

By distinguishing between fear and love as motivators,

 for example, I am making far more logical decisions. Ironic? Not really. Not if you understand and value the human being as a whole.

We need all the parts to be healthy if we're ever going to be truly whole.

If you missed these earlier posts, check out

"Your Thoughts, Your Future"

,

"The Audacity"

and my

"2014 Review"

.

Logic & Emotion - Decisions

Like it or not, 'ignoring' and belittling your emotions doesn't make them go away.

It isn't logic that drives your inner critic, but emotion.

In the past, your inner critic was your primal protector.

It told you when you were in danger.

Today, your inner critic is driven by your internal 'lessons' from experiences.

As much of our media and entertainment is

negative / fear-based,

the primal protector has become the inner critic. We'd like to think that logic makes us stop and assess risk, but it's the critic. You have to reprogram him / her.

S/he is the harsh version of you.

'Ignoring' emotion

leaves you extremely vulnerable

to those who manipulate your

'logical approach to emotion'.

 It's the very thing you don't want - to be tricked. With your emotions, as with your time, energy and intellect, 

if you're not managing them, someone else will

(or worse, someone else already is).

You see, back to the inner critic,

unless you learn to trust yourself, you will not trust your decisions.

Worse, you might remain indecisive. If you don't get to

know your emotions

and their triggers, you can't manage your inner critic. Self-control and self-trust will remain elusive.

Action point:

Decide today, right or wrong, to commit to one difficult decision, and see where it takes you.

Let no one sway you, even if you hear and learn from their advice.

Follow your decision to the end, and

see where it takes you.

Image Source: http://writerfox.hubpages.com/hub/Flower-Clip-Art

Urgency & Clients

What does this have to do with

clients?

Where does

urgency

fit into all of this? Knowing yourself means knowing your true values. Here's why that matters:

1. We, clients included, are largely overwhelmed today, so many find it increasingly difficult to make decisions - except in urgent situations.

2. We, clients included, have an ever-increasing "urgent to-do list" we're trying to check off so we can get to the "important". Sadly, the "urgent" list grows too fast.

3. Today, many business and marketing professionals use this urgency to get sales.

Am I raising any flags with that last point? You see,

each of us falls under point #3.

The question is how do you use it?

Urgency & Your Values

The difference between you and the people who came to your mind on point #3 is

your values.

 I see two options, depending on your perspective:

1. Urgency by Fear: you pick away at your clients' confidence in that area until they realize how 'urgently' they need you to help fix it. Here you take them to a desert, where you're the only source of water.

2. Urgency by Empowering: you listen to your clients' pain, uncovering solutions within their reach; solutions they're empowered to check off their "urgent" list, today. Here, you take them to a safe place and show them that they had access to water all along.

Still struggling

with which to choose? It helps to remember you're on both sides of this equation.

1. Do you want to work with the person you can't do without? It's great for their pocket, but not your confidence, or

2. Do you want to work with the person who shows you that you can, and go back to them as needed for each new level of success? 

Now that you know who you'd want to work with,

who do you want to be?

In closing

Logic and emotion.

Getting clear on who you are in both logic and emotion, your needs and intrinsic business goals (money is just one element) makes it easier to remember

why you wanted to serve this specific ideal client.

It wasn't because you can wind them up easily.

Was it? So, what was it?

Action point:

You Decide.

What Do Your Words Create

We've been taught 

"

Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a destiny

"

. I suspect that this proverb is found in teachings across cultures globally. The point is, like it or not, 

we're not on autopilot.

 If we want change, 

we have to change our minds.

Renew Your Mind.

Thoughts & Feelings

Medicine, science and your own experience (even if you've ignored it) have all made it clear that 

your thoughts can heal or harm your physical body.

 Thinking about things that 

we fear will happen,

 for example, creates feelings of 

anxiety, anger, despair, self-doubt, depression and negative stress.

 These cause heart failure, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and more debilitating unmentionables, which over time become chronic ailments. "The power of life and death lie in the tongue..." (

Proverbs 18:21 ESV

). If we already know all of this, 

why have we done nothing to change it?

Thinking about positive things, things that 

we want to happen,

 our past miracles or good things that are happening at the moment, literally bring healing. The bible says that testimony builds faith. Faith brings joy. Your own testimony enhances the faith of others, yes, but it builds your faith as well. On a 'practical' level, if you will, when you feel joy, 

you breathe deeper, your muscles relax, you have an involuntary smile and your heartbeat is less erratic.

 All of this sends more oxygen to your brain, fosters cell repair, releases endorphins (that creates a 'happy loop') and reduces the stress on your heart, respectively. In miraculous terms, have you met a cancer survivor or someone whose tumor just disappeared? I have - 

it rocked my world.

What do you want?

 Restored health? Love? Financial freedom? More consistent inner peace? More supportive community? Why not 

start thinking about what you want,

 instead of what you don't want? I'd never thought of it that way, but I heard this guy, Greg Braden, say 

"Who taught us to think about what we don't want instead of what we want?!"

 It was suddenly so obvious what needed to change. Perhaps we won't track all our thoughts, but we can all stop to acknowledge how we feel, how we're breathing. Feelings tell you where your thoughts (conscious or subconscious) might be. 

Let's start there.

Emotions versus Feelings

Let's make this a bit easier.

 At any given moment, we're dealing with a myriad of feelings. It's no wonder so many of us ignore our feelings! At the base of it all, however, our feelings are fed by one of 

two emotions - 

Love or Fear.

 Fear is the opposite of Love.

 Courage is merely a manifestation of love - ask most parents. Every feeling we have is rooted in fear or love. Now, it won't always be obvious what you're afraid of, or what you love, that's driving the feeling. You know, however, that negative feelings are driven by 

fear, which holds you back,

 and that positive feelings are driven by 

love, which empowers you.

 If you can believe that, which would you choose?

Positive feelings create positive outcomes because 

we attract what we think about.

 It may be draining to 

"hold every thought captive"

(

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 ESV

) for examination, but 

you are almost always aware of how you feel

 - good or bad - even if you can't place a finger on how or why. If the cause of your 'bad' feeling is coming from within, then assess what thought(s) contributed to that, make it a positive thought. Look at "I hope I'm not late" as "everything is running smoothly so I'll be on time".

Note:

this does not advise that you are governed by your feelings, merely that you use it as it was designed to be used - as an indicator that something is amiss, or that all is well.

Food for thought:

 Wars are borne of fear. Courage, as an element of Love, seeks to protect, defend. Love in all its elements (generosity, kindness, hope) finds a place for all.

[

Side bar:

 I believe in intuition, so if you're feeling 'bad', look around first to make sure there are no threats. The threat doesn't have to be obvious. If your gut says move, then move. Regardless of how rude it may seem. Move.]

Decisions & Commitment

Globally, spiritual movements teach 

"be specific when you ask"

; "no one who is double-minded receives from the Lord...ask and you shall receive"; "believe and then receive (stay open to) what you've asked for"

 and 

"if you can imagine it, you can have it";

 believe and you can receive 

"immeasurably more than you can imagine".

The point is, if you are to ask, believe and receive (

Matthew 7:7-8 ESV

), you have to first 

decide on what you're asking for

 before you can see it (

James 1:6-8 ESV

). Trust that God orders your steps, particularly as you trust Him, in stepping out in faith, rather than fearing what can go wrong if you get what you want. If you make your decision from a place of love, true love, then you've automatically infused that decision with self-care while being considerate of those impacted by that decision. 

Ask, commit to that specific "ask",

 expect to receive it, then release it to God and go on living.

"No", "Don't" and Your Ask Words

"Ask" essentially means praying.

 The challenge is for us, as Christians, to get to the stage where we understand what God means when Jesus says "ask boldly". We must stop 'begging' in prayer, and walk as empowered sons and daughters in Christ. Once you decide to ask boldly, focus on positive words. Truly,

ask for what you want;

not for what you don't want. Asking for what you don't want brings to mind... what you don't want... and all the feelings that come with thoughts of what you don't want. It takes energy (brain space) away from thoughts of what you do want and the feelings that those thoughts come with. 

Mother Teresa said she will not attend an "anti-war" rally, but she'd love to attend a "peace" rally.

 Are you getting the picture? 

"No"

 and 

"don't"

 have no weight in our brains other that to 

produce negative feelings.

 Those words do not eliminate what follows, they merely attach a feeling to them. 

What are your "ask" words?

 Instead of "I don't want debt" or "I'm not in debt", perhaps say "I have a lot of money" or "I'm always in the black".

Note:

It is not a sin to want wealth to overflow when it is overflowing for God's glory. Money is only a problem if it replaces God in your life.

The present tense

 also helps when you're asking. 

"I will"

 often, keeps us in the 

"one day in the future"

 frame of mind. That perspective doesn't drive us to get up and get, because 

it's not a priority.

Speaking as though it already is,

 puts us in a place to 

expect, act, believe and receive, now.

 We start preparing to receive it. 

What will you do with it? Where will you put it? When will you have time to enjoy it?

 We are conditioned to think that doing that means we're lying to ourselves; we're not. You want it and you're going to make it happen. Full-stop. Infuse it with love, and see what happens. (P.S. It helps to be persistent.)

In Closing

Once I committed to changing my thinking,

 all of 2014 was, to me, evidence that this is true. Essentially:

1. Stop! Stop the rat race, the "oh no" conversation and the "I really don't want" thoughts.

2. Breathe deeply. Choose not to rush and do just that for 2 minutes (the whole 2 minutes).

3. Dream. If 'reality' wasn't a ceiling, if no one could 'laugh'... What would you want? Expect it.

4. Feel. What would it feel like to have your dream life? What would you be able to do? See it.

5. Gratitude. Smile in gratitude for what you have now. Really feel it. Thank instead of Begging.

6. Plan. In that grateful mindset, what steps do you need to take to get to your dream? Write it.

7. Act. What steps can you take today? Take at least one step. Even if it's just to think positively. Start.

In all of this, 

start with your mind.

 Start everyday focused on 

1-3 good things

 in your life, 

1 dream

 and 

what those things make you feel.

 Hold on to that all day. 

What do your words create?

[Adapted from:

"Your Thoughts, Your Future."

at

protectyourdreams.blogspot.ca

]

Your Thoughts, Your Future.

We've been taught 

"Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a destiny"

. I suspect that this proverb is found in teachings across cultures globally. The point is, like it or not,

we're not on autopilot.

If we want change,

we have to change our minds.

Renew Your Mind.

Thoughts & Feelings

Medicine, science and your own experience (even if you've ignored it) have all made it clear that

your thoughts can heal or harm your physical body.

Thinking about things that

we fear will happen,

for example, creates feelings of

anxiety, anger, despair, self-doubt, depression and negative stress.

These cause heart failure, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and more debilitating unmentionables, which over time become chronic ailments. "The power of life and death lie in the tongue". If we already know all of this,

why have we done nothing to change it?

Thinking about positive things, things that

we want to happen

or good things that are happening at the moment, literally bring healing. On a 'practical' level, if you will, when you're happy,

you breathe deeper, your muscles relax, you have an involuntary smile and your heartbeat is less erratic.

All of this sends more oxygen to your brain, fosters cell repair, releases endorphins (that creates a 'happy loop') and reduces the stress on your heart, respectively. In miraculous terms, have you met a cancer survivor or someone whose tumor just disappeared? I have -

it rocked my world.

What do you want?

Restored health? Love? Financial freedom? More consistent inner peace? More supportive community? Why not

start thinking about what you want,

instead of what you don't want? I'd never thought of it that way, but I heard this guy, Greg Braden (

watch his video

when you have the time) say

"Who taught us to think about what we don't want instead of what we want?!"

It was suddenly so obvious what needed to change. Perhaps we won't track all our thoughts, but we can all stop to acknowledge how we feel, how we're breathing. Feelings tell you where your thoughts (conscious or subconscious) might be.

Let's start there.

Emotions versus Feelings

Let's make this a bit easier.

At any given moment, we're dealing with a myriad of feelings. It's no wonder so many of us ignore our feelings! At the base of it all, however, our feelings are fed by one of

two emotions -

Love or Fear.

Fear is the opposite of Love.

Courage is merely a manifestation of love - ask most parents. Every feeling we have is rooted in fear or love. Now, it won't always be obvious what you're afraid of, or what you love, that's driving the feeling. You know, however, that negative feelings are driven by

fear, which holds you back,

and that positive feelings are driven by

love, which empowers you.

If you can believe that, which would you choose?

Positive feelings create positive outcomes because

we attract what we think about.

It may be draining to

"hold every thought captive"

for examination, but

you are almost always aware of how you feel

- good or bad - even if you can't place a finger on how or why. If the cause of your 'bad' feeling is coming from within, then assess what thought(s) contributed to that, make it a positive thought. Look at "I hope I'm not late" as "everything is running smoothly so I'll be on time".

Food for thought:

Wars are borne of fear. Courage, as an element of Love, seeks to protect, defend. Love in all its elements (generosity, kindness, hope) finds a place for all.

[

Side bar:

I believe in intuition, so if you're feeling 'bad', look around first to make sure there are no threats. The threat doesn't have to be obvious. If your gut says move, then move. Regardless of how rude it may seem. Move.]

Decisions & Commitment

Globally, spiritual movements teach

"be specific when you ask"

; "no one who is double-minded receives from the Lord...ask and you shall receive"; "believe and then receive (stay open to) what you've asked for"

and

"if you can imagine it, you can have it";

believe and you can receive

"immeasurably more than you can imagine".

The point is, if you are to ask, believe and receive, you have to first

decide on what you're asking for

before you can see it. Trust that you will be taken care of as you step out in faith, rather than fearing what can go wrong if you get what you want. If you make your decision from a place of love, true love, then you've automatically infused that decision with self-care while being considerate of those impacted by that decision.

Ask, commit to that specific "ask",

expect to receive it, then release it to God, or your higher power, and go on living.

"No", "Don't" and Your Ask Words

"Ask" may mean different things

to different people -

pray, release it to the universe, speak it, write it, believe it, expect it

- but whatever it means to you ASK. Ask, however, for what you want; not for what you don't want. Asking for what you don't want brings to mind... what you don't want... and all the feelings that those thoughts come with. It takes energy (brain space) away from thoughts of what you do want and the feelings that those thoughts come with.

Mother Teresa said she will not attend an "anti-war" rally, but she'd love to attend a "peace" rally.

Are you getting the picture?

"No"

and

"don't"

have no weight in our brains other that to

produce negative feelings.

Those words do not eliminate what follows, they merely attach a feeling to them.

What are your "ask" words?

Instead of "I don't want debt" or "I'm not in debt", perhaps say "I have a lot of money" or "I'm always in the black".

The present tense

also helps when you're asking.

"I will"

often, keeps us in the

"one day in the future"

frame of mind. That perspective doesn't drive us to get up and get, because

it's not a priority.

Speaking as though it already is,

puts us in a place to

expect, act, believe and receive, now.

We start preparing to receive it.

What will you do with it? Where will you put it? When will you have time to enjoy it?

We are conditioned to think that doing that means we're lying to ourselves; we're not. You want it and you're going to make it happen. Full-stop. Infuse it with love, and see what happens. (P.S. It helps to be persistent.)

In Closing

Greg Braden is one of those people who's content

'serendipity'

brought into my life in 2014,

once I committed to changing my thinking.

All of 2014 was, to me, evidence that this is true. Essentially:

1. Stop! Stop the rat race, the "oh no" conversation and the "I really don't want" thoughts.

2. Breathe deeply. Choose not to rush and do just that for 2 minutes (the whole 2 minutes).

3. Dream. If 'reality' wasn't a ceiling, if no one could judge... What would you want? Expect it.

4. Feel. What would it feel like to have your dream life? What would you be able to do? See it.

5. Gratitude. Smile in gratitude for what you have now. Really feel it.

6. Plan. In that grateful mindset, what steps do you need to take to get to your dream? Write it.

7. Act. What steps can you take today? Take at least one step. Even if it's just to think positively. Start.

In all of this,

start with your mind.

 Start everyday focused on

1-3 good things

in your life,

1 dream

and

what those things make you feel.

Hold on to that all day, and

let Love drive your thoughts.