Authenticity. Shedding without Resentment (Part 2)

As you'll see in

Part 1

,

 as you delve deeper into the process of hearing your own voice, you'll recognize the value of your

comfort zone

and you'll know when you're

ready to stretch.

This decides everything, including how well you

form new habits

. 

Part 1

 is the best place to start. It looks at

Authenticity,

hearing and recognizing your voice. 

Part 2

 looks at releasing those who force us down a particular path (real or imagined) as you step into your own life, without resenting them. 

In part 1, I recommended that one way to get back to your own voice was to 

take a month off from reading books, news,

 articles, everyone's opinion (mine included) on social media / e-mail blasts. You have a perspective that's correct for you that, perhaps no one else on the planet can understand. The 3-steps I'd mentioned were to:

1. Get past the fear and anxiety of 'falling behind'. You and the world will be fine. Frankly, those who fall away because you're not 'hanging on their every breath', were sucking up your life's energy, anyway. Let it go. It could take up to a week for you to get 'okay' with just You.

2. Try a brain-dump. Write, audio-record, spill, every 'idea' floating around your head.

3. Now explore. How many of these beliefs do you really share? Really think 10, 20 years later, how will living these beliefs affect your life, your children's lives, the world we live in?

Shedding. An Intrinsic Look at What & Who's Around

Over time, take #2 further, by exploring,

 'where did these ideas come from?', 'how much of your own decision-making have you given over to the person/organization/society that gave you that belief? why?' and 'how do you take it back, and 

set healthy boundaries

 around what that person/organization/society 

is allowed to influence in your life?'

Remember, these things only have power over us when we give it to them - or in some cases, they took it - but Take It Back.

Beyond those who've 'planted ideas'. Also 

explore who you're allowing to hold you back.

Who around you keeps saying 

"baby steps, dear"

, 

"it took me 10 years to get here. You're not the exception, you're the norm"

, 

"you're doing what?? aren't you scared?"

What are You allowing them to keep you from doing? Do you have champions?

 Who around you is saying,

 "why not do <insert dreams here>"

 or 

"let's find a way to make ... possible"

.

Like saplings, few dreams look feasible in the 'idea' phase.

 Even the dreamer is not sure-footed yet, so if they share it with 'nay-sayers' too early, 

those dreams will likely die

 (for the moment). 

It's like icy winds hitting a tiny oak sapling.

 You need to 

grow it internally within yourself,

 then share it when you're strong enough, 

with champions. That's right - still not the nay-sayers.

 Champions are so on-board, that sometimes you can get into idea-overload, and lose sight of the precise vision for your dream. 

Get it clear, then share.

Finally, don't share it with nay-sayers.

Seriously, even if it's your mother!

You're hurting her and yourself,

 by trying to force her out of her comfort zone, and by forcing yourself into a storm unnecessarily. Part of loving ourselves, and those around us, is accepting where we are in our own journeys. 

Let them find out when it's already succeeded.

 Then, feel free to share the journey - it might help them expand. 

Again, just my two-cents.

Shedding. No Resentment. Love & Light, Instead

Truth, it is important to release, first, yourself

 from all the 

"oh my gosh, I can't believe I..."

 moments. You know, those moments that you recall from time to time that you wished you never did/saw/acted on? 

Let... them... go.

 Forgive yourself, laugh it off,

 shake your head and smile. Whatever it takes, acknowledge it for what it is, a learning experience (all mistakes are), and 

love yourself through letting it go.

Now, recognize that everyone else around you

 - including the bullies, the people who aren't sorry they wronged you, the clueless people who've wronged you (yes, not everyone was intentionally viscious) - 

is also imperfect.

 Recognize that 

healthy boundaries (not walls)

 allow us to 

co-exist with all kinds of people and still keep ourselves whole

 (unhurt, healed). 

Forgive them, send them love and light,

 truly, not flippantly, and put them in your boundary categories. 

Now, 

Forgiveness is

 a whole other topic.

You can forgive someone, really, and never speak to them again. Boundaries!

This is another reason that you should be true to yourself.

 The exercise above, where we explored who you allowed to 'plant those ideas' in your head, and why you let them, 

helps us see our own vulnerabilities clearly,

 so we can set boundaries (in love, not fear), to protect ourselves. Of course, as you grow and get stronger in your own identity, your boundaries will need to change to accommodate your growth. 

Be okay with that.

All of this makes you a happier, gentler, more joyful person. Don't let anyone take that away.

Thanks for Reading!

I'd love to hear, if you actually took the time to do this, how it's worked for you. 

Do you feel more empowered?

 More secure in your own decision-making ability? Here's a more empowering post on Authenticity: 

The Disruption of Authenticity

,

 facing the fact that 

not everyone will like it.

I mean, if you don't know your own mind (heart, desires), who's life are you living?