Authenticity. Compatibility and Opposition. Self IS we are One
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Self. Knowing the self sparks a fascination with the Self in others.
It does not spark a need to control, limit or define the Self in others. Simply a fascination with the other that makes you really want to see the magic that unfolds as they truly emerge.
Self and One at the same time
A part of my spiritual evolution has landed me at this perspective of our being:
Source—the source of all that is—really became conscious and wanted to know Source in its entirety, the full potential of Source, so Source split into:
Creator (female), dark, seemingly invisible but very much known and knowable to feminine energy and all who search within. Today, many call just this aspect of Source, the Universe, God, Goddess, Source, and
Creation (male) light, very visible, all that we can experience in the physical, metaphysical, spiritual, emotional, etcetera. This expands in both the masculine (productivity) and the feminine (creativity). We have many names for all that is, particularly all that is known to us.
There are many names across religion, philosophy and science for this split — the Big Bang, the Creation Story, the Stardust theory and so many more.
My understanding, however, is that there is no one way, no set purpose, no obligation to be fulfilled. Just life to be lived freely and thoroughly enjoyed with a return home to heal of any scars of incarnated life, to integrate the embodied experience into Sources understanding of Self, and to, if so desired—free will, individual sovereignty—to do it all over again. I understand that there is an element of soul agreements on the lives we will live with our soul groups when we get here, but those agreements were based on the same thing—what do we want to experience in this life? So free will still governs, and in the realm of home, in spirit feeling absolute connection to Source, there are no “hard feelings” if our human forms finds something more fascinating here that what was initially agreed. Again, this is my inner grasp of things.
And so we are not all the same
This means that we are both one and self. It is not a contradiction, but a paradox. I hope this helps us to stop swinging the pendulum to absolutes around this, and allow each other to experience it as we will. We are not “poor Self” trying to get back to the understanding that “we are all One”. We are each a perspective of the One manifested uniquely to experience life as only that perspective can, to then incorporate that perspective’s expansion after life here into Source.
To force conformity is, therefore, to limit our own capacity for expansion and for Source to know Self. Of course, even the toxicity that emerges as a result of this violation of free will is useful to Source, because it is all an opportunity to learn, but for us as humans, it is a far more excruciating death, even as our bodies live. The suffocation of Self—any self—affects not just One but All.
If we can embrace this, the ways that we can be, thrive, flourish, multiply exponentially. It is almost a tangible thing, to me.
Compatibility and Opposition—Both
Compatibility and Opposition, therefore, both have a place here. Not in their toxic forms, which we have become so used to, without question, but in their healthiest forms, they both expand. Both spark awareness that pays it forward to others who operate in either vein of energetic flow.
Compatibility feels most like home to those who are energized by calm—people who are gentle, feminine, empaths, sensitive. They thrive on resonance, synchronicity and flow.
Opposition feels most like home to those who are energized by excitement—people who are assertive, masculine, thrill-seeking. They debate and seek out opposite minds.
Some of us are each of these at different times of day, year, month, decade, but some of us are inherently one or the other, and we often discover it when life hits us hard. I operated in the opposition sphere for years until I literally crashed, and then discovered that nothing was wrong with needing compatible community.
Resonance is energizing to those who thrive in Compatibility. Opposition is draining.
Opposition is energizing to those who expand within it. Compatibility may be boring, which is draining.
This is an oversimplification of things, of course.
In resonance, we expand because new perspectives expand our own. In opposition, some level of compatibility is needed to have the shared values that allow each perspective to be expressed. And, as always, this merely scratches the surface. We can all be fierce or gentle as needed, and we live in a world that forgets that, in its toxicity.
The value of opposition and compatibility in Creation
Opposition makes room for all ideas at the table—this means those who cannot find support in honouring their true selves are more likely to find that community, as opposition has allowed it to come into being.
Compatibility allows each idea to go deeper—this means those who cannot find support for further expansion into their current path of discovery are more likely to find that depth, as resonance has expanded it.
Both are needed, and each creates both. I see that connection, with this perspective, between the masculine and feminine here.
The masculine (opposition) provider and protector provides and maintains the safe space, so that
The feminine (compatibility) creator and nurturer creates and sustains life within that space.
Just a visual dance that always plays out vividly in my being.
Toxicity versus the Healthy form of Us
We are, each of us, valid. Our innate self—given the time to connect with ourselves—is fascinated with everyone else’s innate self. Had we been allowed to be growing up, self-discovery, self-trust, self-acceptance and self-love would be on autopilot, so we’d be able to spend more time connecting deeply with others, while maintaining healthy boundaries—a necessary part of even the healthy human experience.
But that isn't what happened.
Instead, we were taught politeness, diplomacy and put others first, instead of genuine compassion, truth in love and compassion—for self, which overflows organically to others (more on that here)—and toxicity was born, as the inner self was neglected. In a toxic environment, every aspect of ourselves is distorted (more on that here) to ensure conformity. Today, we try to scape goat and eliminate different aspects of ourselves, holding them (wrongly) responsible for our misbehaviour and ailments. The ego being the most prevalent scape goat, today. As our bodies were not designed for the strain of it—as with any toxin—we have a lot of disease in the world. Name an aspect of our being, and disease is there—physical, emotional, mental, even spiritual.
Now, there are those in authority who know this, as well as what I'm about to share in the next paragraph, but who thrive on the industries that emerge as a result of this toxicity. Still, there are others who are genuinely afraid that “humans are dangerous when left to themselves”, and will hold on to control — manipulation, penalties, laws, gaslighting, gaslighting, influence — without recognizing the toxicity it creates. If you've ever been poisoned, in some recognizable way, you will know that the elimination of toxins and the recovery process can be a tumultuous and arduous one. The same may be true for this world—not for everyone, but for some. But what does your body do once it recovers? It heals itself and finds its way back to optimal function. It knows what to do. And if we didn't have it ingrained in is that ‘we don't know what to do without external guidance', we would know that we function just the same way.
Eliminate toxicity, and the distorted self disappears. The healthy self emerges, loving self and others inevitably, and connecting with those they're most fruitful aligning with, because that is innate. We are fulfilled, we are fascinated with both ourselves and others, honouring individual sovereignty, and bringing love and healthy gifts to the world.
And if you share my philosophy, then—voilà—Source expands in the ease and flow of our being healthy humans.
So we are one, yes, but also importantly, and potently, self.
So where are you?
In all that I speak and write, in any role—keynote, author, consultant and now (learning this) as Mom—my invitation, or reminder, is that you embrace what resonates for you and release what does not, in peace, in honour of individual sovereignty.
You can probably sense, from just that, that I thrive in compatibility. For me it is both innate and as a result of burnout after living in opposition mode for most of my life, likely based on an overly combative childhood. Either way, this is where I am now, on my journey.
Whether this perspective resonates or not, I hope you walk away with a sense of freedom to be exactly who you are.
Self-acceptance honours where we are now, and follows the love, ease, flow and energizing feelings that draw us forward. This means self-discovery doesn't end. And how exciting is that?
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About Crystal-Marie Sealy
Crystal-Marie Sealy, MBA, is currently a dedicated full-time mom, part-time virtual keynote speaker, two-time best-selling author and strategy consultant. As author and speaker, Crystal-Marie is focused on resilience through authenticity, self-acceptance and individual sovereignty. Her new children's book, "The Brave Little Puffer Fish Authenticity for Children", has gotten rave reviews and a five-star rating on Amazon. Crystal-Marie's business talks invite mindful entrepreneurship through pricing, lean process, and feasible schedules for inspired creativity and focused productivity. As a strategy consultant, and president and founder of Crystal-Marie Sealy—previously Successiory (2011-2019)—Crystal-Marie's signature "Mindful Entrepreneurship for Mindful Affluence™" empowers premium service professionals to create businesses they can truly thrive in. Good-bye rate race. Hello blue ocean. Earn more. Work less. Live abundantly. Connect with Crystal-Marie at www.CrystalMarieSealy.com
