Does what you Present align with your spoken Values?

Being human, we all fall a bit short of our true values.

If you're attempting to live mindfully or you've made introspection a part of your daily journey, you'll unearth a few more double-standards within yourself than you'd like to find.

Mindfulness

means

you're gentle with yourself

when you discover them, perhaps even laughingly making those little changes as you go along to bring you into greater alignment with what your true values are.

Busy-ness,

however, means

we often miss where double-standards

not only slip in, but often become the 'norm' without us realizing it.

Again, this is not to pass judgement, on yourself or on others,

but to get us (yes, you and me, both of us human) to make the time to step back and assess what we're actually doing. What our lives actually attest to.

A few scenarios on our 'values', just to check in...

Free will

 is absolutely a core value of mine, but... |

Scenarios:

• "...I expect my friends to support my initiatives." Regardless of what they're dealing with, where their values lie at this time.

• "...Of course I expect you to 'follow me back' on social media when I do." Regardless of what's relevant to them? How does it affect you, your newsfeed, your content, following everyone? 

• "...I can often turn a 'No' into a 'Yes' to close the deal". Does this disregard their free will? How do you feel when this happens to you? A bit resentful, if it drains your time, energy, focus?

Everything we need lies within,

but... |

Scenarios:

• "...sometimes clients don't know what they need, so they need to be told or at least guided." Do they really? Do you honour your own views or do Gurus always know what's best for you? 

• "...my advice makes people aware of what's within." Does it really? Is that often true when the tables are turned?

• "...sometimes people need a kick in the pants to move." Do they? Or are they simply not ready to commit? Do you truly, whole-heartedly commit to something you were forced to decide?

You

can

do life and business on your terms,

but... |

Scenarios:

• "...everyone should at least do/have/be <_____> to succeed." If so, then do you really believe 'life and business on your own terms' is possible? 

• "...they just need to implement my systems/frameworks to succeed." As it can't be both, then which is your true value statement?

• "...no one can do it alone" / "...everyone needs a mentor" / "...everyone needs community first." Really assess what your true values are, as they can't be any of these and 'life and business on your own terms'.

Positivity and Authenticity are both important to me,

but... |

Scenarios:

• "...you can't actually be positive when you're authentically dealing with pain." Are you sure? Is it possible that being authentic and positive means you acknowledge all feelings before assessing how to move forward positively out of that experience?

• "...smiley people annoy me. Who's that chipper all the time?" Perhaps we don't know how they got to be smiley all the time. Do you have days where you're so full of gratitude that you can't help but smile? What is your truth here?

These are just a few of the values we often claim to have

that our day-to-day habits suggest are not our authentic values. It's fine if you don't believe these things - regardless of how many people expect you to - and it's okay to own your truth regardless of what others think. If you

do

truly believe these things, you know that these scenarios barely scratch the surface of our running internal double-standard conversations.

If these haunt you, even a little, I hope the following ideas help.

Possible steps forward...

Free will

 is absolutely a core value of mine, but... |

Consider:

 This actually calls for us to make peace with the boundaries of our own arenas. To find validation within, rather than in the actions and responses of others. Clarity on what you have control over.

If your own free will matters to you,

take a second to daydream. Consider scenarios that make you

defend it

and those that make you

celebrate it

. Do you take action most out of obligation (real or imagined) or free will? Now turn the tables in a few situations you've lived in the past few weeks.

In their shoes, how does that feel?

Everything we need lies within,

 but... | 

Consider:

 This invites you to assess whether or not you actually believe this is an absolute or an 'occasional' truth. If it is absolute, are external 'guides', mentors, advisors, coaches, potential triggers or must 'good advice (relevant and timely or not) always be taken'? How many times have you 'started over', because different mentors have given different advice? How much time do you devote to hearing yourself? This is a good indication of whether or not this is truly one of your core values.

Turning the tables:

if you honour that this is a core value of the person you're speaking to, how do you ensure that your conversation is inviting consideration, rather than forcing your perspective on the other person... or

'better informing' them?

You 

can

 do life and business on your terms,

 but... | 

Consider:

 If you truly believe this, do your schedule, energy, client engagement process, family engagement - everything about you - reflect that? Does your community honour your business model and preferred lifestyle? This actually affects your health, so think this one through.

Turning the tables:

Do you often tell others to live their lives, or run their businesses differently? Do you find that you have to convince others to invest in your services, or do you connect with those already seeking you?

How do you honour this value system.

Positivity and Authenticity are both important to me,

 but... | 

Scenarios:

 Consider the perspective that 'life balance' means living a static life (never changing or moving), whereas 'life harmony' means giving priority to what you choose at different times in your life - life doesn't stand still. Positive mindset refers to a predominant state of joy or appreciation, and not an eternal state of never having negative emotions. Authenticity demands that you're true to yourself in all arenas. What does that mean for you? Is "Positivity and Authenticity" a paradox or a contradiction for you?

Turning the tables:

whether you believe it or not, it's important to acknowledge that. Then, it's important to acknowledge that (if you honour free will) others may have found the paradox. It doesn't mean they're never unhappy, simply that they've found different ways to manage it. Stay true to your intuition -

you know a false smile when you see one.

Still,

smiling often is not a sign that one is not authentic.

Leave room for others to be who (and where) they are on their journey.

Live and let live.

Whatever your beliefs...

Wherever you stand, I hope to leave you with this.

If we are ever to be a truly thriving global community,

we start by looking within, at what our own truths are. It is strong, conscious individuals that make up a healthy, sustainable community - not a few fear-filled heads or 'leaders'.

What do you think?

Yours in love and light,

Crystal-Marie S

Money Matters. Dispelling the Hype.

Today my someone sent me a JPG:

"You are not a loan"

.

I laughed at first, as my mind raced with all the ways that that could have been interpreted, but then it hit me. Is that how I saw myself?

I don't know if you fell for the hype around education, but I

totally 'drank the Kool-Aid'.

• Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it.

• When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over by the time you graduate.

• You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there.

[

Smile... Kool-Aid

.

I couldn't help it. Even the Kool-Aid realized something was amiss.]

As with every exaggeration,

there's just enough truth here to make us buy-in, but it's not entirely true. I'm writing this as it pertains to education, but this may apply to other high-priced dreams.

If things like autonomy and financial freedom

matter to you, if you envision a life where 100% of the money you earn is yours to spend, share or save as you choose, then blindly applying the above philosophies will not get you there. I'd just like to share a few insights below.

Loans. Only One Path to Education/Your Dream.

On the first matter of

"Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it",

no one's mentioned "life after debt". Here are a few alternatives to a Bank Loan or any kind of Student Loan.

1. Sponsors. These are people who fund your venture, idea or education in exchange for a non-monetary benefit. If there's an organization you have a great idea to help, and that degree, certificate, will hep you better support them, the value of your certified expertise may be worth it for them. What organizations can you truly help? What is your passion?

2. Crowdfunding. This is a public campaign to get funding for almost any reasonable cause. If your goal is to become an entrepreneur, and your resulting service/product will help a lot of people, it would be beneficial for them to fund your education to make that happen. If someone can get over $50k for potato salad, you can get your education funded. Who will you help?

3. Education-Exchange. This one I admit I haven't seen happen, but if professors can further their education while teaching a course, can't you? If you're more mature or you're changing fields, chances are you're carrying a lot of expertise that you may be able to trade with the right higher learning institution to get part (or all) of your education subsidized while you teach.

I do realize that some, or all, of these options may seem "ballsy", if they've never crossed your mind. I'm guessing, however, that if one of these opportunities fell into your lap, you'd take it any day over a huge loan from the bank.

These just require a bit more work and faith in yourself.

The beauty:

• Your money's your own after your education (or the idea you're funding).

• You'll be doing exactly what you wanted to do after, with your education (or the idea funded).

• You're propelled by the need to actually live your dream, not paying off debt.

Doesn't this sound better than 15 years' repaying debt? Why not try it?

When You Graduate... When You're Older... Why Not Now?

"When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over."

Why not start earning now? Learn about business or your career path from those who've done it before. Still, learn on your own as well. Trust me, nothing sticks like the lessons you learn yourself. Honour that too.

• Want to start a business? Start while you're at school. Do your trials there, so when you graduate, you have a sustainable business model. 

• Want to work for a specific company, or in a specific role? Create your own projects where you have to do exactly those tasks, excel at them and use those to build your portfolio. By the time you get to the interview, you'll know exactly what you're talking about.

• Want to travel and see the world now? What organizations let groups travel where you want to? What can you offer to make it worth their while to take you? Deliver that.

I'm learning (better late than never) that getting creative is not just for generating art and beauty, but that

it's likely creativity that makes ordinary folks into heroes.

Get creative in learning how to love within you budget, even as you expand your budget.

And Now You. What's Your Perspective?

Everything I've spoken about above is focused on going well beyond your won financial means without going beyond your budget. It looks at creative ways to give something very valuable for the very valuable things you would like to have. What it doesn't speak to is the money side of things.

"You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there."

What do you think? I believe you have to invest in yourself, and increase the means by which to do so, but I believe what you bring in should always surpass what you put out. I believe there's always a way to do both - enter contests to

win prizes

you want,

volunteer

at events where your ideal clients are,

speak

where possible.

What do you believe? What do your values say? I'd love to hear.