Money Matters. Dispelling the Hype.

Today my someone sent me a JPG:

"You are not a loan"

.

I laughed at first, as my mind raced with all the ways that that could have been interpreted, but then it hit me. Is that how I saw myself?

I don't know if you fell for the hype around education, but I

totally 'drank the Kool-Aid'.

• Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it.

• When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over by the time you graduate.

• You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there.

[

Smile... Kool-Aid

.

I couldn't help it. Even the Kool-Aid realized something was amiss.]

As with every exaggeration,

there's just enough truth here to make us buy-in, but it's not entirely true. I'm writing this as it pertains to education, but this may apply to other high-priced dreams.

If things like autonomy and financial freedom

matter to you, if you envision a life where 100% of the money you earn is yours to spend, share or save as you choose, then blindly applying the above philosophies will not get you there. I'd just like to share a few insights below.

Loans. Only One Path to Education/Your Dream.

On the first matter of

"Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it",

no one's mentioned "life after debt". Here are a few alternatives to a Bank Loan or any kind of Student Loan.

1. Sponsors. These are people who fund your venture, idea or education in exchange for a non-monetary benefit. If there's an organization you have a great idea to help, and that degree, certificate, will hep you better support them, the value of your certified expertise may be worth it for them. What organizations can you truly help? What is your passion?

2. Crowdfunding. This is a public campaign to get funding for almost any reasonable cause. If your goal is to become an entrepreneur, and your resulting service/product will help a lot of people, it would be beneficial for them to fund your education to make that happen. If someone can get over $50k for potato salad, you can get your education funded. Who will you help?

3. Education-Exchange. This one I admit I haven't seen happen, but if professors can further their education while teaching a course, can't you? If you're more mature or you're changing fields, chances are you're carrying a lot of expertise that you may be able to trade with the right higher learning institution to get part (or all) of your education subsidized while you teach.

I do realize that some, or all, of these options may seem "ballsy", if they've never crossed your mind. I'm guessing, however, that if one of these opportunities fell into your lap, you'd take it any day over a huge loan from the bank.

These just require a bit more work and faith in yourself.

The beauty:

• Your money's your own after your education (or the idea you're funding).

• You'll be doing exactly what you wanted to do after, with your education (or the idea funded).

• You're propelled by the need to actually live your dream, not paying off debt.

Doesn't this sound better than 15 years' repaying debt? Why not try it?

When You Graduate... When You're Older... Why Not Now?

"When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over."

Why not start earning now? Learn about business or your career path from those who've done it before. Still, learn on your own as well. Trust me, nothing sticks like the lessons you learn yourself. Honour that too.

• Want to start a business? Start while you're at school. Do your trials there, so when you graduate, you have a sustainable business model. 

• Want to work for a specific company, or in a specific role? Create your own projects where you have to do exactly those tasks, excel at them and use those to build your portfolio. By the time you get to the interview, you'll know exactly what you're talking about.

• Want to travel and see the world now? What organizations let groups travel where you want to? What can you offer to make it worth their while to take you? Deliver that.

I'm learning (better late than never) that getting creative is not just for generating art and beauty, but that

it's likely creativity that makes ordinary folks into heroes.

Get creative in learning how to love within you budget, even as you expand your budget.

And Now You. What's Your Perspective?

Everything I've spoken about above is focused on going well beyond your won financial means without going beyond your budget. It looks at creative ways to give something very valuable for the very valuable things you would like to have. What it doesn't speak to is the money side of things.

"You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there."

What do you think? I believe you have to invest in yourself, and increase the means by which to do so, but I believe what you bring in should always surpass what you put out. I believe there's always a way to do both - enter contests to

win prizes

you want,

volunteer

at events where your ideal clients are,

speak

where possible.

What do you believe? What do your values say? I'd love to hear.

A More Conscious Pace

First Place. No Time for Second

I'm not sure what your daily grind is like,

but for so many of us it's become so routine that we don't think about why we do what we do anymore. Now, many of us just seem to think about how quickly we can get it done so we can

move on to the rest of our checklists.

That, or we get lost in huge projects we know we're good at

to avoid thinking

about the things we know we need to address. I do both, but when I'm getting from point A to point B, I'm so irritated by the 'wasted' time it takes to get there that I see nothing else as I whiz by others (cars, pedestrians) to be 'first'. First? Yes, first - up the stairs, at the stop light, crossing the street.

"What? Stopping to smell what roses?!"

Getting Past First Place. Wait, What?

I don't know how your mind maps this,

but my rationale is that I want to complete my 'urgent' checklist, so that I'll have no distractions when I get to my 'important' checklist. There are a lot of important aspects of my life that get 'left behind' because I have to put out all of these fires - family, health, bathroom breaks, drinking water (! really?!) - because I'm

chasing this mythical version of 'complete'... perfection.

I've always been introspective,

but adulthood left only those few moments before bed to make that happen.

Well, so I thought.

Lately, on my journey of the discovery of 'self-care', I began to rediscover my love of nature and the joy of stopping to see what's happening in 'this moment' - not 10 years down the road. I also discovered that I was raised with this sense of

"if you're not rushing you're wasting time"

and, worse,

"everyone's time is more important that yours. Your needs, schedule, can wait"

. Is this just me, or can you relate to this?

2014 to now has been a period of learning

'the other side' of me. No, Trinis. Not my 'vex' side. The side of me that's not 'all business', task-oriented, performance-driven, but the side that's loving, patient, compassionate, empowering and enthusiastic. I no longer make apologies for getting excited, for not remaining stoic. Life is too short.

You want to stay happy? Find joy in small things.

 Stop 'saying' it; do it. I mean really drink that Kool Aid! It takes a lot of energy to change a habit; even more to stay aware enough to change a mindset. It's even draining, but I truly believe it's worth it.

Become Aware. Changing Mindsets and Habits

Have you figured out how to do that?

It's great to talk about putting the energy into changing your mindset to change your habits, but you want to

put your energy into the best way to do that.

I don't have the answer. As a work in progress, I'm learning what works for me and what doesn't. I suspect there may be no magic formula. This means you'll have to

make time to get to know you

:

• What does it take to heighten your awareness? What makes you stop running to look around?

• What drives your habit of running the 'rat race', everyday, all the time? Can you identify it?

• Is it discomfort with quiet time, empty moments, being 'unproductive'? Fear of not getting 'it' done?

I believe even the questions you'll have to ask yourself may be unique to you. What are they

?

Conscious Pace

Conscious Pace

is the term I've coined for moving, working, operating at a pace where you are conscious of why you're doing what you're doing.

A pace that allows you to be present in the moment,

whether you're doing something or simply being. A pace that allows you to be present, with your actual senses, without thinking of how it should be or what's missing; simply taking in the moment. Experiencing, subconsciously memorizing, feeling, being, in that moment.

When was the last time you slowed down

enough for that to happen? You won't capture every moment, but if you start doing that for 2 minutes a week and work your way up in intervals, you should journal the experience. Your heart races less, you breathe more deeply (you're aware of your breathing), your shoulders relax. It's amazing.

Holding Space

Holding Space

is a new concept for me, in terms of words, but it was definitely

the missing link to so many explanations,

in my mind. Holding space - for yourself or for others - means you're

'leaving the door open'.

This can be in the context of a conversation, relationship, experience, moment, that you know is incomplete but

that can't be completed at this point in time.

The reasons you can't complete 'it' can be infinite,

but some examples could be - can't explain, not ready yet, fear, hurt, venue, present company.

A very common reason

is that you know you need to choose your words/make your decision carefully, but feel that time is running out and the very act of 'rushing' to form the idea, means anxiety has demolished the structure of your thoughts. So,

you 'hold space' for yourself, or for the person

who needs to be able to come back to it. You hold space for many reasons because you:

• Love that person and, yes, yourself

• Empathize and know it's important

• Honour, value, that person, even if you can't understand

• Honour, value, yourself enough to be patient with yourself until you 'figure "it" out'

These are just a few, but I think the greatest reason is love.

Caution: Get to know yourself, your boundaries, before you go off holding space for everyone.

You can spread yourself too thin - this has dire health impacts, waste child-bearing years in a relationship that's going nowhere, enable self-destructive habits in loved ones or stay in toxic friendships or jobs, holding space without knowing your boundaries. I wrote

this post on setting clear boundaries

earlier. I've since grown in my perspectives, but you'll get the gist of the message here. Be wise, but be gentle with yourself.

I hope this has helped you

to take a step back from the busy-ness of life to love yourself a bit and 'smell the roses', so to speak. I'd love to get your insights on what's worked in the past, and what's working for you now, in learning to

'live in the present'.

Thank you for reading. You can also find me at 

@cmaries08

. Have a great week!

Emotion & Urgency with Clients

Happy Spring!

Source: http://writerfox.hubpages.com/hub/Flower-Clip-Art

Logic & Emotion - The Paradox

If you've been following, you know I shifted gears in 2014.

I'm no longer the pure-logic, mission-driven lady I started this blog as.

Logic still has its place, but I've grown significantly since

I've welcomed my emotions back.

By distinguishing between fear and love as motivators,

 for example, I am making far more logical decisions. Ironic? Not really. Not if you understand and value the human being as a whole.

We need all the parts to be healthy if we're ever going to be truly whole.

If you missed these earlier posts, check out

"Your Thoughts, Your Future"

,

"The Audacity"

and my

"2014 Review"

.

Logic & Emotion - Decisions

Like it or not, 'ignoring' and belittling your emotions doesn't make them go away.

It isn't logic that drives your inner critic, but emotion.

In the past, your inner critic was your primal protector.

It told you when you were in danger.

Today, your inner critic is driven by your internal 'lessons' from experiences.

As much of our media and entertainment is

negative / fear-based,

the primal protector has become the inner critic. We'd like to think that logic makes us stop and assess risk, but it's the critic. You have to reprogram him / her.

S/he is the harsh version of you.

'Ignoring' emotion

leaves you extremely vulnerable

to those who manipulate your

'logical approach to emotion'.

 It's the very thing you don't want - to be tricked. With your emotions, as with your time, energy and intellect, 

if you're not managing them, someone else will

(or worse, someone else already is).

You see, back to the inner critic,

unless you learn to trust yourself, you will not trust your decisions.

Worse, you might remain indecisive. If you don't get to

know your emotions

and their triggers, you can't manage your inner critic. Self-control and self-trust will remain elusive.

Action point:

Decide today, right or wrong, to commit to one difficult decision, and see where it takes you.

Let no one sway you, even if you hear and learn from their advice.

Follow your decision to the end, and

see where it takes you.

Image Source: http://writerfox.hubpages.com/hub/Flower-Clip-Art

Urgency & Clients

What does this have to do with

clients?

Where does

urgency

fit into all of this? Knowing yourself means knowing your true values. Here's why that matters:

1. We, clients included, are largely overwhelmed today, so many find it increasingly difficult to make decisions - except in urgent situations.

2. We, clients included, have an ever-increasing "urgent to-do list" we're trying to check off so we can get to the "important". Sadly, the "urgent" list grows too fast.

3. Today, many business and marketing professionals use this urgency to get sales.

Am I raising any flags with that last point? You see,

each of us falls under point #3.

The question is how do you use it?

Urgency & Your Values

The difference between you and the people who came to your mind on point #3 is

your values.

 I see two options, depending on your perspective:

1. Urgency by Fear: you pick away at your clients' confidence in that area until they realize how 'urgently' they need you to help fix it. Here you take them to a desert, where you're the only source of water.

2. Urgency by Empowering: you listen to your clients' pain, uncovering solutions within their reach; solutions they're empowered to check off their "urgent" list, today. Here, you take them to a safe place and show them that they had access to water all along.

Still struggling

with which to choose? It helps to remember you're on both sides of this equation.

1. Do you want to work with the person you can't do without? It's great for their pocket, but not your confidence, or

2. Do you want to work with the person who shows you that you can, and go back to them as needed for each new level of success? 

Now that you know who you'd want to work with,

who do you want to be?

In closing

Logic and emotion.

Getting clear on who you are in both logic and emotion, your needs and intrinsic business goals (money is just one element) makes it easier to remember

why you wanted to serve this specific ideal client.

It wasn't because you can wind them up easily.

Was it? So, what was it?

Action point:

You Decide.

Time for Dreams

I love being a girl!

I just sat in a cafe near my home, to get away from the computer for a bit, and listened to 3 women

laughing heartily

in a very animated conversation. There really was no more beautiful sound in that moment. I couldn't help but smile.

Before starting my business, I made time for introspection.

I knew where my thoughts were and why, how I would manage them, if I wanted them to change, and what my small goals were. All logical, but at least I could hear myself think.

Today, in the midst of the 'busy-ness'

of managing my own organization, I rarely have time. I've been feeling those thoughts turn into feelings, all left unresolved, as

"there's too much to deal with first"

.

If you look back at my earlier posts, you would see how much time I spend writing about

self-care, self-love, me-time

and

the role of the individual

(the whole, complete individual) in creating

a powerful community.

Whether that community is your 'inner circle', your family or the world at large, I focused a lot on the

importance of you being the true you,

getting clear on who that is, if your community is to benefit fully. Our world functions best when we all flourish, but until we learn that

"we" includes "me",

we continue to see strife in our communities. I write this because I believe it, but do I live it? Apparently, not at the depth that I'd thought I did.

Just before those three ladies brought a smile to my face, I was hit by the reality that my head had been so far down in my business (my baby, don't get me wrong) that

I'd forgotten all the other things I wanted from life.

I was struck by a very

clear image of my daughter.

It's the craziest thing. I don't have a daughter yet, but since the age of 12, I'd been dreaming of becoming a mother.

Source:

protectyourdreams.blogspot.ca/2015/02/time-for-dreams.html

Out of nowhere, that image came screaming at me -

"I'm waiting", "Make it happen", "What about me?"

Am I alone in this? I forgot my other very important and time-sensitive dreams! In taking just 1 hour out of my busy day, away from my work and home environment,

my heart finally found it's voice again.

I want to be a

wife

and

mother,

all while I have my wits about me! I miss being a

great friend, daughter/confidant, sister/best friend, grand daughter

and

cousin!

Only

I

can make time for what is important. My business is my baby, yes, but it does not need all of me. Yours doesn't either.

Can you relate to this? What dreams have you had, but long given up on? Do you even remember?

Sit with your thoughts. Focus on happy things that make you relax. Maybe take a retreat, and listen to what comes up. Why not?

Make them real for yourself:

1. Write them down, or save Pictures of them, that keep them top-of-mind

2. Work backwards on small steps with deadlines that you can take each day

3. Smile and say, out loud daily, that "I'm coming to get you. In fact, you're coming to me."

Being positive doesn't mean you have to lie to yourself.

You should, in fact, be true to yourself about where you are, so where you will be very soon becomes a clearer, more rewarding, target.

What are your dreams?

They're not impossible.

I'd love to hear what some of yours are. Perhaps I can help keep you accountable in keeping them!

I hope I woke something up inside of you, today. Happy trails!

The Audacity

I invite you to ponder that word.

Audacity.

What kinds of thoughts come to mind? Does the word inspire

negative, positive

or

neutral

thoughts? Why do those words come to mind? Do you know why?

If the word

Audacity

inspired thoughts of words or phrases like

arrogance, inconsiderate, bossy

or

how could you,

then perhaps the word

Audacity

has been reserved for people who violate the boundaries of others. I invite you to consider, however, that it may also have been used to

limit those who dare to dream

or be different. Perhaps it's been an attempt to hold back those who dare to live life now rather than "when I grow up", "when I have more experience or education" or the unspoken "when everyone ahead of me (essentially) wouldn't feel threatened". Is that possible?

If I ask, now, what's holding you back? Is there another item on that list?

I invite you, now, to see

another side of

Audacity.

If you had to find positive thoughts to associate with the word, what would they be? Can you make that leap?

What if I said that, today, I associate the word Audacity with terms like

empowered, driven,

fearlessly pursuing ones dream,

courageous, bold,

focused on the goal,

no longer held back by ones fears

and choosing to live ones purpose regardless of setbacks, lack of approval and accepted norms? Is that a perspective you can share? 

Consider this. If you have one life to live, and you don't know if you'll die tomorrow, why don't you have

the audacity

to live the life you want now? Why should perfectionism, fear of disapproval, fear of rejection, fear of ... fill in the blanks... get to live life for you?

You put them in charge, and only you can change that, to free you.

It's time for

you

to be

audacious.

Not with the lives of others but with your life!

I should let you know that you'll probably never be perfectly ready, but it has to be worth it. Remember:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the product of Love that's too large to be contained™".

The world needs you to be exactly who you are right now - to inspire greatness in someone else, to prevent someone from giving up on their 10,001th try - for any number of reasons. You, however, need you to be, embrace and thoroughly love, you first. It is only then that you can be anything to anyone else.

You have to first love you.

There is no motivation like it. Once you spark that fire,

you can't help but love others.

For me, it is the love of God in Christ that showed me this. For you it may be something else. Whatever it is, take the time to know and love you - your physique, your mind, your will, your emotions, your desires.

Do you know you?

What are your dreams?

I invite you to consider that those dreams are

not too big, too small or too ridiculous.

They simply are, and you may not yet be able to see how they fit into the grand scheme of things, but they do.

Go be Audacious!

Let me know how it goes!

Season's Greetings & 2014 Review

I have heard many say, this year, that

2014 was both terrible and awesome at once.

I can truly relate. That means, however, that we've all grown in some way. You may have learned that

you're more resilient than you thought,

or that there are more efficient ways to do something or quite simply that you'll do something very differently moving forward. Whatever you learned this year, I'm sure there is a positive perspective and takeaway, if not a few. Would you be willing to share what those were?

I believe none of our experiences are for naught. They're all necessary to help others advance too.

Source:

protectyourdreams.blogspot.com/2014/12/seasons-greetings-2014-review.html

My 2014 Eureka Moments

I don't know where to begin, but I'll aim for a list of 12 lessons I've learned this year, that I hope can help you find greater efficiency, balance and joy, in all areas of your lives.

1. If you enter every situation with Thanksgiving, you'll be surprised at how it will be turned around for good. Whether that's based on a change in perspective or a miracle, it's good.

2. Lesson #1 above has led to a series of serendipitous moments that I could not have dreamed up myself. From people to opportunities to new mindsets, our words do manifest our experiences.

3. In being true to myself, as I embrace the lessons above, I've also been a great source of inspiration without even realizing it! People have been moved to love and intrinsic purpose, after listening to me gush on about what I've been learning and how it's helped me.

4. Money is a friend, not a foe. This year, my mindsets around money have changed to understand that as a friend, financial wealth empowers me to be even more generous. When I am financially healthy, it is far easier for me to help others achieve the same.

5. My intuition is not just 'in my head', so to speak. It is a very real aspect of my being that has, to date, never (seriously) steered me wrong. I've attracted like-minded entrepreneurs, just by trusting my gut. It takes practice when you've ignored it for so long, but try it.

6. Love is the opposite of fear. We all believe it's Courage, but courage is merely a product of Love. This year, I've learned to focus on what I'm pursuing in Love, rather than dwelling on what could go wrong as I pursue it (fear). What would it look like for you to live this way?

7. Self-care is not selfish. Self care is the wise setting of boundaries to ensure that you remain whole as you pursue your dreams which, inevitably, will help others. We are of no use to anyone if we are burnt out or spread thin. We can't do anything well if we're doing everything.

8. When I am taking care of myself, even when it means saying "No" from a place of love to someone or something, I have created a safe space for them, too, to do the same. No one is forced to do what they don't want to, or really can't, do.

9. Lesson #8 also no longer comes with guilt or anxiety about letting others down or fear that something or someone might fail because I said "No". I completely understand (most days) that this "No" sets clear boundaries for me to be able to be at my best when I do say "Yes".

10. Lessons #8 and #9 became real to me when I viewed them through the lenses of my Time, my Goals, my Space, my Perspective, my Pace of life and decision-making, my Feelings, my Preferences, my Comfort Zone and Stretch Zone*, and other aspects of life. (*Your stretch zone refers to moments where you risk stepping out of your comfort zone to try something new. You shouldn't be coerced to enter this zone; it should be your decision. The Panic Zone is that zone beyond your stretch zone. If you're in the panic zone, you're not ready. It's fine to step back.)

11. I've always known this, but never put it into words. I make decisions from a place of conscious awareness of why I'm making those decisions. Decisions are no longer based on false time-pressure or peer-pressure or any kind. When I make conscious decisions, I know I am committed to those decisions, to seeing them to fruition.

12. I'm now more comfortable knowing that I am not to be all things, at all times, to all people. I know that my part is important, but I am free to stay balanced, true to myself, as I do my part.

Some of you may have heard me rave about some or all of these, already, but those are my 2014 - year of Eureka Moments - lessons. I know I'm not alone though.

Willing to share yours?

Wishing you, your loved ones and everyone you encounter, love, joy, healing and prosperity in every area of life.

See you in 2015!

Best, always!

In Honour of Your Freedom (Part 2)

Part 1

of this mini-series set out to help you appreciate you – just you – because it is imperative to your ability to truly be free. Free of the need to hide from yourself and others, from fear of facing fears, and free to enjoy every moment of your life. I hope, having read Part 1, that you’ve started thinking about your boundaries – that sets the stage for Part 2 – you with others.

Boundaries – You with Others

Worth the Risk

Life’s lesson

is the process of

learning to love unconditionally.

 Parents, siblings, spouse, children - it's clear. In identifying, and then setting,

boundaries,

therefore, we have to

balance self-preservation with accepting others

as they are. Now, to those of us who are

“

all or nothing

”

about relationships, I caution against missing out on great people by being too rigid.

No one is perfect,

so as humans, we inevitably hurt each other sometimes.

Relationships are messy.

Source: http://bit.ly/1iIj92D

Wisdom is Priceless

That said,

boundaries

are meant to

keep us safe at each stage

of that process. It helps us to

be true to where we are

in that process, able to walk with others who help us grow

in the tough and the great parts

of love, but

safe from those who would destroy us

because of how

vulnerable we are,

and

where they are

– too needy, too critical or

abusive in any way.

Even in accepting others,

we are not supposed to enable bad behaviour.

Forgiveness ≠ Reconciliation

.

Community - Free to Be

Sisterhood (Brotherhood) is Imperative to Your Freedom

Community should be

a truly safe space where you're fully known

and, even if not completely understood, fully accepted and

invited to simply be.

Find those of your gender that

don’t make you apologize for being

imperfect or emotional – this includes the ‘male ego’.

 Start with one person. Examine your boundaries and whether or not you’re comfortable enough to build a relationship with this person.

Note:

You need friends of other genders as well – please. My brother is one of my closest friends. That said, there is simply something unspoken that can only be attained with those of your gender.

Source, Girls: http://mingusillustration.com/kids/girls-sleepover.jpg

Source, Boys: http://www.casacenina.com/catalog/images/img_103/bothy_sxc2.jpg

Your Clients should Love that You Have a Life

For those of you whose dream or passion is to

help others through business,

it is so easy to become

a slave to your clients

– forgetting that this was a major reason for leaving corporate in the first place.

My coach,

Carol Schulte

(

@carolschulte_

 website under construction), has driven home the purpose of a client profile – 

“Identify the right clients for you”.

Just as you are careful who you let into your everyday life, you should

be careful who you dedicate your

time, energy

and

expertise

to in business.

You'll find all the technical checklists for a client profile online – budget, earnings, number of employees, years in business – but

only you know the relationship values

that matter –

respect, temperament, schedule

and

value for your product or service.

Live Where It’s Easiest for You to Thrive 

People, fun, jobs/clients, culture, food, weather

– I've been thinking about this a lot, lately. Toronto has afforded me a

freedom to be myself,

unencumbered by the

"fear of disappointing loved ones”

. It is lovely, and will always be dear to me, but

it has never felt like home.

They say

'home is where the heart is'

, and perhaps it is a mindset, rather than an atmosphere, that determines where home is.

I’m not so sure.

Nisha Moodley

said

"You can put a plant in sub-optimal conditions, and it’ll do its best to thrive.  I’m the same way, growing my way through the cracks in the sidewalks wherever I land.  But when it comes to choosing a place to call home, I’ve realized how important it is to live where it’s easiest to thrive..."

and

it is so true.

Your home is your sanctuary.

When your entire day goes wrong, it’s where you recharge to face the next day.

City: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/b4/Toronto_ON_Toronto_Skyline2_modified.jpg

Beach: http://www.homedit.com/20-modern-living-rooms-that-will-make-you-instantly-drool/

In December (2013), my mother asked me,

"Why do you take the most difficult paths in life?"

 I’m still ruminating over that, but this is one of the areas in which

I ask myself the same question.

In Christianity, your relationship with Christ calls you to rest in God in the midst of storms.

You do not seek out storms.

Freedom

Freedom

is not some frivolous concept that flirts with the notion of no responsibilities and “never having a bad day”. Au contraire,

it is a lot of work,

but it can be

smart work, rather than hard work.

 If you make the time to

get clear on who you are

and

what you really want,

then

that work has a purpose.

Being

true to yourself

seems to be at the crux of attaining freedom.

I’d start there.

Check out

"Back to Basics. Your Approval Required."

to help keep you focused.

In Honour of Your Freedom (Part 1)

(2014 March 28) Inspired by Nisha Moodley’s Fierce Fabulous Free blog post “

Lessons from a year of courage

”, I’ve only included here what complements my message, but I hope you get time to read it yourself.

You – Put “ME” On That Checklist

Put

“ME”

at the top of your checklist – enjoying “me”, grooming “me”, loving “my” appearance, exercising, eating healthily, drinking water, learning “me” – simply being “me”. Every aspect of “ME” is

critical to your success,

so you need to be consciously “ME”. It is a whole version of YOU that

can recognize and enjoy success when it comes.

YOU are important.

Boundaries – Not Walls

ME-time reveals

boundaries,

your comforts and perceived limitations. Sure “get out of your comfort zone” to explore your potential, but

‘know your comfort zone’ first.

Boundaries keep you

safe, comfortable

and

confident in your

right to be

– spirit, soul (mind, emotions) and body – while allowing you to

let the right experiences and people

in – or out.

Walls keep whatever’s inside in, and whatever’s outside out; you don’t want that.

Get to know YOU – THEN you’ll be more effective at saving the world.

Live Courageously

Courage is not the absence of fear,

but the drive to push through it. Being true to yourself about your

emotions, thoughts, underlying beliefs

that drive you, goes a long way in helping you

face and then conquer your fears.

Common fears:

Forget failure – fear of

success,

fear of

man

and fear of

emotions.

However impossible your dream,

you will never know what’s possible unless you try.

If you don’t, that will be your greatest regret at 90. Fear of man

(people’s disapproval of your ‘audacity’)

should never hold you back. Emotions – no, no – not just the ladies. This fear is even greater for men.

Emotional IQ (EQ)

is a most sought after leadership trait because when you can

manage your own emotions,

it makes you very effective at dealing with others’ emotions.

No need to run from your fears. Face them and do it anyway.

Learn the Right Lessons

Don’t learn the wrong lessons

from your experiences.

Learn the empowering lessons.

Scenario: You fall off a horse.

Lessons:

This is dangerous. I should be more careful. I should stop riding horses. So often we have an experience and we say,

"I’ll never do ‘X’ again".

Now that that wall is up, what happens when the perfect opportunity comes and “X” is what’s needed to get it?

Learn the empowering lessons and start implementing.

Have One “Thing” You Won’t Give Up

As a workaholic, I can genuinely relate to what Nisha talks about in her

6th Lesson, “It’s good to have a “thing””

.

Working all the time makes you boring

– even if work is fun. I work in social media; boring = sure death.

My one thing is Dance.

I cannot explain the things dance – its kinetics, expression, choreography – does to and for me.

What is your one thing? Why not just do it?

Acknowledge Your Broken Heart

Whether it’s

a break up,

or

the loss of a loved one,

'to thine own self be true.'

In

acknowledging every single feeling

as it comes, you're able to face it. You will heal faster than if you'd tried to bury it. That would be like

trapping a wild cat inside,

rather than letting it out and keeping an eye on it.

The claws will do far more damage inside than out.

If you're true, not letting pride or ego hold on to rage and resentment,

love truly is the outcome of healing.

KEEP DREAMING

It is so easy to lose sight of your vision,

when the horizon doesn't look anything like the image in your head.

It's easier still when you don't

make the time to dream often enough.

The human imagination is among the most powerful things anywhere.

You are your only limitation.

You will be surprised what solutions come when you rest – remove anxiety – silence your negative thoughts (the hard part) and just let options come freely.

NEVER STOP DREAMING.

PART 2 OF HONOURING YOUR FREEDOM

Before you run

to part 2

,

I want you to really

take the time (21-30 days)

to process this and work it into your schedule. Find out who you are, what you're comfortable with and what you want - what freedom means to you - then go into you with others.

Part 2 addresses the role of Community in attaining Freedom.