Reflecting on our Beliefs. Releasing the Kool-Aid

We're all learning, growing, drawing lessons and blessings in each experience that we have in each moment that we're alive. We're all leveraging duality - the aspects of each experience that make you happy and those that are uncomfortable - to get clearer on what works and what doesn't. A part of that process is taking the time to reflect. What have you gotten over the past year? I'd love to hear. Here are a few of mine.

A Reflection of My Beliefs. Releasing the Kool-Aid

Some of what we believe has come from consciously selecting what truly resonates.

Still, some has been fed to us and sits in our subconscious mind, governing some of what we attract in our lives, whether we're aware of it or not.

As I share, I hope you see it as an invitation to see what governs our decisions - to pursue or quit, to step out or pull back, to love or fear. Each path is unique, so not all of these will resonate. Trust your gut. My lessons:

1. Abundance does not mean "redistribution of existing wealth". It means the availability of enough for every appetite - both your perspective of abundance and those who seem insatiable.

2. I deserve to be truly happy and successful in ease and flow, simply because I AM and have the ability to create anything I can think up. So I will be. No one owes me, I'm not "entitled" - a word folks use to berate millennials for having a different experience (and economic reality). 

3. Ease and flow doesn't mean drifting on clouds using no energy, but that when I learn to hear and trust my intuition, my only true 'work' is to listen to my intuition. All action required for success is, then, borne of excitement, an inexplicable certainty and serendipity, attracting mainly opportunities that serve that defined success. 

4. There is little I can teach but by example, and only to those with whom it truly resonates. Everyone is wise. While not all of their wisdom is meant for me, their wisdom is priceless.

5. Positivity is not a part-time gig. If "what you focus on expands" as Oprah says, then positivity would have to a way of life. As Mother Teresa said, she'll attend a pro-peace rally but never an anti-war. To that end, I will face my hurts and fears - absorb the lessons, acknowledge those lessons as blessings, then release any resentment or grudges - then, focus on the good. 

6. Focusing on what creates sanctuary and draws my goals closer, is not selfish. From community to activities, it is what will make me succeed so greatly that all I can do, in that state of success, is overflow, empowering others to achieve the same for themselves.

7. "No" is a complete sentence and requires no explanation. Those who push me in anyway to do what I have not expressly decided in my innermost self to do, good intentions or not, are to be released. 

8. The collective good is borne from the overflow of self care. Beware of any who go to the extreme, as to lose knowledge of what your own being means to lose any ability to contribute meaningfully to any collective. Whole, honoured individuals make for healthy community.

So much more has come to me as I wake up, but this is what has come out for this post.

What sits well with you? What doesn't?

Does it resonate (or not) because you've checked within and it doesn't, or because you were taught to accept (or reject) it? I invite you to freely choose what resonates within, and extend this list in your own journal, heart, art, however you best express You.

To a year ahead that truly serves you,

so that you learn to trust yourself and seek out what propels you, so that you inspire and empower others to step into their own truth, accepting that their truth will likely differ from yours, but be equally as valid - a paradox rather than a conflict.

If you enjoyed this,

there's a calendar for sale (20% goes to

www.aistoronto.ca

) with similar words of inspiration and invitation, to keep you inspired all year long. You can use it to map chores, if nothing else. 😉 [

Printable $10

|

Editable $15

|

Both $20

]

In peace, love, joy and prosperity in all things.

--

Crystal-Marie Sealy

Speaker, Strategy & Social Media Consultant at

Successiory

Money Matters. Dispelling the Hype.

Today my someone sent me a JPG:

"You are not a loan"

.

I laughed at first, as my mind raced with all the ways that that could have been interpreted, but then it hit me. Is that how I saw myself?

I don't know if you fell for the hype around education, but I

totally 'drank the Kool-Aid'.

• Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it.

• When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over by the time you graduate.

• You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there.

[

Smile... Kool-Aid

.

I couldn't help it. Even the Kool-Aid realized something was amiss.]

As with every exaggeration,

there's just enough truth here to make us buy-in, but it's not entirely true. I'm writing this as it pertains to education, but this may apply to other high-priced dreams.

If things like autonomy and financial freedom

matter to you, if you envision a life where 100% of the money you earn is yours to spend, share or save as you choose, then blindly applying the above philosophies will not get you there. I'd just like to share a few insights below.

Loans. Only One Path to Education/Your Dream.

On the first matter of

"Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it",

no one's mentioned "life after debt". Here are a few alternatives to a Bank Loan or any kind of Student Loan.

1. Sponsors. These are people who fund your venture, idea or education in exchange for a non-monetary benefit. If there's an organization you have a great idea to help, and that degree, certificate, will hep you better support them, the value of your certified expertise may be worth it for them. What organizations can you truly help? What is your passion?

2. Crowdfunding. This is a public campaign to get funding for almost any reasonable cause. If your goal is to become an entrepreneur, and your resulting service/product will help a lot of people, it would be beneficial for them to fund your education to make that happen. If someone can get over $50k for potato salad, you can get your education funded. Who will you help?

3. Education-Exchange. This one I admit I haven't seen happen, but if professors can further their education while teaching a course, can't you? If you're more mature or you're changing fields, chances are you're carrying a lot of expertise that you may be able to trade with the right higher learning institution to get part (or all) of your education subsidized while you teach.

I do realize that some, or all, of these options may seem "ballsy", if they've never crossed your mind. I'm guessing, however, that if one of these opportunities fell into your lap, you'd take it any day over a huge loan from the bank.

These just require a bit more work and faith in yourself.

The beauty:

• Your money's your own after your education (or the idea you're funding).

• You'll be doing exactly what you wanted to do after, with your education (or the idea funded).

• You're propelled by the need to actually live your dream, not paying off debt.

Doesn't this sound better than 15 years' repaying debt? Why not try it?

When You Graduate... When You're Older... Why Not Now?

"When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over."

Why not start earning now? Learn about business or your career path from those who've done it before. Still, learn on your own as well. Trust me, nothing sticks like the lessons you learn yourself. Honour that too.

• Want to start a business? Start while you're at school. Do your trials there, so when you graduate, you have a sustainable business model. 

• Want to work for a specific company, or in a specific role? Create your own projects where you have to do exactly those tasks, excel at them and use those to build your portfolio. By the time you get to the interview, you'll know exactly what you're talking about.

• Want to travel and see the world now? What organizations let groups travel where you want to? What can you offer to make it worth their while to take you? Deliver that.

I'm learning (better late than never) that getting creative is not just for generating art and beauty, but that

it's likely creativity that makes ordinary folks into heroes.

Get creative in learning how to love within you budget, even as you expand your budget.

And Now You. What's Your Perspective?

Everything I've spoken about above is focused on going well beyond your won financial means without going beyond your budget. It looks at creative ways to give something very valuable for the very valuable things you would like to have. What it doesn't speak to is the money side of things.

"You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there."

What do you think? I believe you have to invest in yourself, and increase the means by which to do so, but I believe what you bring in should always surpass what you put out. I believe there's always a way to do both - enter contests to

win prizes

you want,

volunteer

at events where your ideal clients are,

speak

where possible.

What do you believe? What do your values say? I'd love to hear.

Emotion & Urgency with Clients

Happy Spring!

Source: http://writerfox.hubpages.com/hub/Flower-Clip-Art

Logic & Emotion - The Paradox

If you've been following, you know I shifted gears in 2014.

I'm no longer the pure-logic, mission-driven lady I started this blog as.

Logic still has its place, but I've grown significantly since

I've welcomed my emotions back.

By distinguishing between fear and love as motivators,

 for example, I am making far more logical decisions. Ironic? Not really. Not if you understand and value the human being as a whole.

We need all the parts to be healthy if we're ever going to be truly whole.

If you missed these earlier posts, check out

"Your Thoughts, Your Future"

,

"The Audacity"

and my

"2014 Review"

.

Logic & Emotion - Decisions

Like it or not, 'ignoring' and belittling your emotions doesn't make them go away.

It isn't logic that drives your inner critic, but emotion.

In the past, your inner critic was your primal protector.

It told you when you were in danger.

Today, your inner critic is driven by your internal 'lessons' from experiences.

As much of our media and entertainment is

negative / fear-based,

the primal protector has become the inner critic. We'd like to think that logic makes us stop and assess risk, but it's the critic. You have to reprogram him / her.

S/he is the harsh version of you.

'Ignoring' emotion

leaves you extremely vulnerable

to those who manipulate your

'logical approach to emotion'.

 It's the very thing you don't want - to be tricked. With your emotions, as with your time, energy and intellect, 

if you're not managing them, someone else will

(or worse, someone else already is).

You see, back to the inner critic,

unless you learn to trust yourself, you will not trust your decisions.

Worse, you might remain indecisive. If you don't get to

know your emotions

and their triggers, you can't manage your inner critic. Self-control and self-trust will remain elusive.

Action point:

Decide today, right or wrong, to commit to one difficult decision, and see where it takes you.

Let no one sway you, even if you hear and learn from their advice.

Follow your decision to the end, and

see where it takes you.

Image Source: http://writerfox.hubpages.com/hub/Flower-Clip-Art

Urgency & Clients

What does this have to do with

clients?

Where does

urgency

fit into all of this? Knowing yourself means knowing your true values. Here's why that matters:

1. We, clients included, are largely overwhelmed today, so many find it increasingly difficult to make decisions - except in urgent situations.

2. We, clients included, have an ever-increasing "urgent to-do list" we're trying to check off so we can get to the "important". Sadly, the "urgent" list grows too fast.

3. Today, many business and marketing professionals use this urgency to get sales.

Am I raising any flags with that last point? You see,

each of us falls under point #3.

The question is how do you use it?

Urgency & Your Values

The difference between you and the people who came to your mind on point #3 is

your values.

 I see two options, depending on your perspective:

1. Urgency by Fear: you pick away at your clients' confidence in that area until they realize how 'urgently' they need you to help fix it. Here you take them to a desert, where you're the only source of water.

2. Urgency by Empowering: you listen to your clients' pain, uncovering solutions within their reach; solutions they're empowered to check off their "urgent" list, today. Here, you take them to a safe place and show them that they had access to water all along.

Still struggling

with which to choose? It helps to remember you're on both sides of this equation.

1. Do you want to work with the person you can't do without? It's great for their pocket, but not your confidence, or

2. Do you want to work with the person who shows you that you can, and go back to them as needed for each new level of success? 

Now that you know who you'd want to work with,

who do you want to be?

In closing

Logic and emotion.

Getting clear on who you are in both logic and emotion, your needs and intrinsic business goals (money is just one element) makes it easier to remember

why you wanted to serve this specific ideal client.

It wasn't because you can wind them up easily.

Was it? So, what was it?

Action point:

You Decide.

My Twitter Follow Philosophy

Thank you

for following

@Cmaries08

on

Twitter!

I hope you

enjoy my tweets

about: 

* Inspiring quotes * Good books (usually novels) * God in Christ *

* Modern-minimalist chic Fashion & Home Design * Dance

Below,

you'll learn more about

who I follow - Directly,

as well as

via Lists.

What I Tweet -

http://twitter.com/cmaries08

Follow Philosophy

Who I Follow Directly

In an effort to make my newsfeed less overwhelming for me, and to truly enrich those of my followers interested in the same topics, please note that I

directly follow

only

those who share information on these five (5) topics,

 and only

where aligned with my values

 - no expletives or put-downs!

My Twitter Philosophy, Who I Follow - 

http://twitter.com/cmaries08

Who I Follow via Twitter Lists

As my interests are many, including

photography, getting organized, the English language

 and

millennial encouragement

(in a world always on their backs), I use 

Twitter Lists

 to follow those who talk about my other interests.

Explore 

my Twitter Lists

! Subscribe to those you find interesting.

Other Tweets

Occasionally, you'll see tweets on dance classes, theatre performances or causes I support (e.g. 

@AISToronto

), but these are rare.

What's Your Twitter Philosophy

Does your Twitter newsfeed give the information you really want?

Not

if you

follow everyone who follows you.

If you do that, your newsfeed gets

overwhelming

and is of

little value to you.

Hope you're inspired to create and share

your own Twitter Philisophy!

Feel free to use this as a guide.

Live Out Loud Everyday Starting Today

I will start by thanking +Fast Company for their Google Plus post, 

There Are 5 Types Of Boredom. Which Are You Feeling?

, and +Michael A Wells, for his response, that he feels #4 everyday. Life is far too short for all of us to be imprisoned in 'existence' by our own minds. 

You have imprisoned yourself. How are you going to change it?

As someone who starts most things by thinking, planning or making lists, I say:

1. Create your vision: be it a vision board, a bucket list or one thing you always wanted to do.

2. Find out what it takes: brainstorm the list of steps you'd honestly need to take to make your vision a reality - time, energy, resources, activities, mindsets, everything you can think of.

3. Get organized: arrange this list in order of feasible timelines, categories or any pattern that makes it easy for you to follow. If it's overwhelming; simplify. Include 'change mindset'; eliminate your "I can't". 

4. Talk to yourself: seriously. you may or may not have a support system to help you along, so you are your support system. Throughout the process, remind yourself daily of where you're going.

5. Take micro-steps: leap where you can, but start with baby steps (one day at a time). Remember, a habit takes 21-30 days to be formed, or broken.

6. Track your progress: whether it's a physical journal, a digital checklist from your "Get organized" section, or your own invention, use something to track what you've accomplished along the way.

7. Pray: I include this because it's on my personal list, but whatever you believe, step back from your current situation to look at the big picture - the possibilities are endless when you're looking from afar. 

Dreams are big, and

anything worth something takes work.

 Reward yourself along the way to stay motivated. You've seen this 100, maybe more, times in your life, in various forms.

Just Do It.

This may be an iterative process, if you do it right. You may start small, but as you do more introspection, you'll start realizing there's no reason to dream small.

This is WINTER but SPRING is coming - Are You Ready?

After I write this post, I'm going to continue implementing as well. I've already started with my

Vision Board on Pinterest

(thanks to the advice of my friend Paulina N.) [You can see my other boards at the link provided, but my actual Vision Board is private.]

Some inspirational reading:

I specifically point to the books, not the authors. You may not appreciate the authors or support many of the philosophies presented, but at least they get you to dream a bit bigger:

1. The Art of Non-Conformity by Christopher Guillebeau

2. The 4-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss

Note:

Returning to the article that prompted this post, a word to all generations - X, Y, Z, Baby Boomers, etc -

live and let live.

Stop attacking each other, in particular, stop attacking the

Millennials (Generation-Y).

Their economic reality includes

a whole lot of "NO":

no job stability,

no jobs if not self-created,

no salary that can fund home ownership

in this lifetime,

and a number of other realities that the other generations haven't had to deal with. Perhaps the parents of the Baby Boomers get it. If you destroy the confidence of the next generation because you have to "put them in their place", there'll be no one left to take care of you. The "arrogance" and "entitlement" is perhaps what they need to survive their reality.