Blogging on Instagram (Quick Interlude)

Hello my Loves,

It seems I've gotten swept up in the ease that Instagram has created in allowing my to capture my idea in a quote image then expand on it in the description below. Still, I miss writing to you - to myself - here.

Slowly but surely, I'll return that content to this blog, where it belongs.

So much growth, learning and grounded authenticity has come out of my journey, since we last connected here.

I'm looking forward to sharing this with you.

Warmly,

Crystal-Marie S.

www.instagram.com/Successiory

 (Initially @cmaries08)

When It's Louder Than Usual (Women)

There's a time every month

when we as women are generally least able to focus on external things because

what's going on inside is much louder than usual.

Your mind is in a fog:

• The lists, plans and logical frameworks that usually keep you on track are meaningless,

• The situations you've trained yourself to ignore, somehow irritate/hurt you more than usual, 

• Your thoughts are suddenly big-picture, philosophical and emotional.

"I Have My Period"

I really want to invite you to consider that

you're not crazy.

You're not "PMS-ing" in that how you feel is not something to apologize for (**we can all work on how we act). You simply cannot ignore yourself any longer. You're in a world that has no time for you, and frankly, you follow suit. Your period is the one time when your spirit, soul and body come together, united, to say

"we will no longer be denied (at least for the next 3 days!)"

This blog is largely about

hearing your own thoughts

and the importance of self-care. I don't know about you, but despite all of it, I have to wonder why it's taken me all of my 33 years to realize that 

it's not a good thing that this is what my body has to do to be heard.

I believe if we're paying attention to all of our needs all month,

our

entire being

wouldn't have to "line up" for this small window of time in order to be heard

and, for most of us, we wouldn't walk on eggshells for fear of breathing fire on everyone. I'm sure, we'd still be more conscious and aware at this time of month, but

it wouldn't knock us off our feet

if

emotional and spiritual self-care (love, compassion, grace, playfulness) were a part of our daily lives.

This was huge for me, and yet every time of the month since, I've been caught by surprise. It takes a while to move things from the head to the heart. Funny how, when you're studying something in earnest, God brings everything you need your way. Here's what I found.

Embracing All of You

You may not share the beliefs

or practices in the video below, and thus may not agree with the specifics of Joanne's "time of the month" package, but I'd like to invite you to create your own. What items can you make a habit of surrounding yourself with during this time?

What excites your sense of sight, smell, taste, sound and touch?

These are the things that will help you to listen to yourself.

Here's what 

Joanne Ameya Cohen

 does.

 Perhaps it will help you create your own ritual, or your own 'space' in time and energy, to honour and listen to what you (spirit, soul and body) has to say...

Again, take from this what speaks to your inner self -

the individual that is known and loved completely and unconditionally (good, bad and ugly) only between you and your maker. Really invite yourself to consciously see how your spirit, soul (mind, will, emotions) and body respond.

Where Are You in All of This?

I'd love to hear what works for you.

So far, I'm stuck on:

• Visuals, flowers, minimalist architecture and all things in my shade of pink (see pics)

• Scent, still seeking, but a very unique French Vanilla and baby powder

• Taste, still seeking as well, but grapes, Raspberry Kefir and spicy Cheetos

I'm still working on the

textures for touch

and

sounds including words,

 which I'm very sensitive to regardless of time of month.

You?

Remember,

you are worth every bit of the time, energy and space

 you're willing to invest in others. If you're not filled to overflow, your giving will not be from a cheerful place of overflow, but from a place of duty which, when you begin to run low, turns to resentment.

So stay full!

Money Matters. Dispelling the Hype.

Today my someone sent me a JPG:

"You are not a loan"

.

I laughed at first, as my mind raced with all the ways that that could have been interpreted, but then it hit me. Is that how I saw myself?

I don't know if you fell for the hype around education, but I

totally 'drank the Kool-Aid'.

• Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it.

• When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over by the time you graduate.

• You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there.

[

Smile... Kool-Aid

.

I couldn't help it. Even the Kool-Aid realized something was amiss.]

As with every exaggeration,

there's just enough truth here to make us buy-in, but it's not entirely true. I'm writing this as it pertains to education, but this may apply to other high-priced dreams.

If things like autonomy and financial freedom

matter to you, if you envision a life where 100% of the money you earn is yours to spend, share or save as you choose, then blindly applying the above philosophies will not get you there. I'd just like to share a few insights below.

Loans. Only One Path to Education/Your Dream.

On the first matter of

"Education is important and any amount of debt is worth having it",

no one's mentioned "life after debt". Here are a few alternatives to a Bank Loan or any kind of Student Loan.

1. Sponsors. These are people who fund your venture, idea or education in exchange for a non-monetary benefit. If there's an organization you have a great idea to help, and that degree, certificate, will hep you better support them, the value of your certified expertise may be worth it for them. What organizations can you truly help? What is your passion?

2. Crowdfunding. This is a public campaign to get funding for almost any reasonable cause. If your goal is to become an entrepreneur, and your resulting service/product will help a lot of people, it would be beneficial for them to fund your education to make that happen. If someone can get over $50k for potato salad, you can get your education funded. Who will you help?

3. Education-Exchange. This one I admit I haven't seen happen, but if professors can further their education while teaching a course, can't you? If you're more mature or you're changing fields, chances are you're carrying a lot of expertise that you may be able to trade with the right higher learning institution to get part (or all) of your education subsidized while you teach.

I do realize that some, or all, of these options may seem "ballsy", if they've never crossed your mind. I'm guessing, however, that if one of these opportunities fell into your lap, you'd take it any day over a huge loan from the bank.

These just require a bit more work and faith in yourself.

The beauty:

• Your money's your own after your education (or the idea you're funding).

• You'll be doing exactly what you wanted to do after, with your education (or the idea funded).

• You're propelled by the need to actually live your dream, not paying off debt.

Doesn't this sound better than 15 years' repaying debt? Why not try it?

When You Graduate... When You're Older... Why Not Now?

"When you graduate you will get a job in the $Xk bracket; the recession will be over."

Why not start earning now? Learn about business or your career path from those who've done it before. Still, learn on your own as well. Trust me, nothing sticks like the lessons you learn yourself. Honour that too.

• Want to start a business? Start while you're at school. Do your trials there, so when you graduate, you have a sustainable business model. 

• Want to work for a specific company, or in a specific role? Create your own projects where you have to do exactly those tasks, excel at them and use those to build your portfolio. By the time you get to the interview, you'll know exactly what you're talking about.

• Want to travel and see the world now? What organizations let groups travel where you want to? What can you offer to make it worth their while to take you? Deliver that.

I'm learning (better late than never) that getting creative is not just for generating art and beauty, but that

it's likely creativity that makes ordinary folks into heroes.

Get creative in learning how to love within you budget, even as you expand your budget.

And Now You. What's Your Perspective?

Everything I've spoken about above is focused on going well beyond your won financial means without going beyond your budget. It looks at creative ways to give something very valuable for the very valuable things you would like to have. What it doesn't speak to is the money side of things.

"You have to invest in yourself (even above your means) to get there."

What do you think? I believe you have to invest in yourself, and increase the means by which to do so, but I believe what you bring in should always surpass what you put out. I believe there's always a way to do both - enter contests to

win prizes

you want,

volunteer

at events where your ideal clients are,

speak

where possible.

What do you believe? What do your values say? I'd love to hear.

Back To Basics - Your Approval Required

On March 28th, 2014, I wrote

In Honour of Your Freedom

(parts 1 and 2)

because I'd realized that I'd gotten stuck in making sure everyone else was happy and I stopped hearing my own thoughts. There's a difference, however, between being responsible in your treatment of others and being responsible for the happiness of others.

Source:

http://protectyourdreams.blogspot.ca/2014/07/back-to-basics-your-approval-required.html

A few days ago, I posted something on Facebook (I tend to post only encouragement, so this was rare):

"

I fell for that age-old trick. No more. I will not compromise. My ability... is not an affront to you. Be where you are, I will celebrate your successes, but don't ask me to be less so you can feel validated.

"

I was having a rough day - a downward spiral in my mind of everything I've done wrong and how my mistakes may have made others' stumble.

It started with a couple disapproving looks and some less-than-subtle comments from some people who've made some wrong assumptions about my life, but of course (according to my boyfriend),

I approved their application to 'take up real estate' in my head.

I sometimes think I'm alone in this, but yesterday, so many people related so strongly to this post, that I started to realize that this is an issue many others probably face.

By the time I'd gotten home, I'd started to see how many people in my life

I've fallen into "holding myself back" for, so they can feel better.

Whether that's a strength I have that they don't share (or perhaps don't know that they

do

share), or my drive and discipline around work and quality, that they either don't care about or haven't achieved yet.

The opposite is also true.

There are things I still struggle with, that others have probably never struggled with, and they really look down their noses at me for it. Often, these are the same people I don't come down on for being 'weak' in my areas of strength.

Source:

protectyourdreams.blogspot.ca

That afternoon, I felt like I was drowning.

The burden of walking on eggshells:

holding myself back because of other people's need for validation, and beating myself up because I make mistakes that perhaps others don't and I'm afraid I've corrupted others by sharing my mistakes,

is simply too much.

Recently, however, I've been repeatedly reminded that, first, that is not my burden to carry, and that, second, it is my right to approve (or disapprove) someone's 'freedom' to speak into my life, to place their expectations on me. I don't have to let the 'needs' and expectations of those I'm close to, determine my decisions. So...I choose to approve none of the 'applications',

regardless of how bold, old, close, knowledgeable, the 'applicants' are.

It's still hard to move that knowledge from my head to my heart, but I caution those of us who spend all of our time in community and carry this burden:

This

is a big part of why we all need some time alone

to hear ourselves think!

Once you're clear on how you think, feel, see things - on what your desires and needs are - then others are just supposed to be sound-boards to test your ideas.

They're not supposed to decide for you.

I'd advise that you keep others' out of those decisions, for now.

Discipline yourself to learn to make (and trust) your own decisions.

Even if you make mistakes, you're strengthened by a renewed sense of "ownership"! You made the decision, and you're strong enough to deal with the consequences. As this 'decision' has become an 'experience', you have concrete (not 'fear-based') evidence of why you're taking the next step you're taking - whatever that may be.

Try it!

Sound counsel is very important. Community is important. Truly, no man is an island, and we are stronger in community, but that is generally true because

each individual member of the community brings who s/he inherently is, to the table.

That makes for strong community.

So, who are you?

If you're always surrounded by 'community' that's manipulating, controlling - even with 'good intentions' - it's not a community that is beneficial to you, or to the community itself.

For your sanity - and for that community you care so much about - make the time to simply

sit and 'BE'.

Share all those those inner thoughts you have never shared with anyone, release all of those emotions you never release because they're "bad/wrong", in your moments alone - out loud, if you can, or in a journal. Only then, when these things are all brought into the light, can we see clearly to make decisions. Community offers support, yes, but who are they supporting when you can't hear your own thoughts anymore?

Make the time.

Welcome to Spring Weather

Happy Easter Sunday

I just want to send love, peace, joy, home and fulfillment your way, at this time. Thank you for the time you've spent reading my blog in the past, and I hope to keep hearing your thoughts!

Welcome to Spring 2014

If you're in Trinidad and Tobago, the Caribbean, where Spring/Summer is eternal, thank God! In much of northern North America, Spring started officially in March, but the weather's only catching up now.

Passover Greetings

If you are of Jewish heritage,

bless you!

 I pray this

Passover

restored in your hearts the knowledge of

God's Love for you, as His people.

Amen.

Happy Easter

If you are, Christian, I pray that

your eyes are opened,

today, to 

God in Christ

 and 

a deeper relationship with Him,

 with every flower you pass, every scent of the moist soil that comes with the rain, and every crisp Spring morning you wake up to. 

I pray for grateful hearts overflowing with love,

 for all of us, so that nothing steals our confidence in Christ, and the joy, peace and hope that comes with His Love. Amen.

In the Caribbean, I pray the same is awakened in you, through every beach visit, and the peace that seems to overtake the nation at this time. Amen.

All My Readers

Love you!